Just Another Day in Paradise. Part 2.

I have a funny story to share.  I say it's a funny story because I'm hoping I can laugh about it one day.  Just two days ago I wrote a sweet post (you can read it HERE) about motherhood and all.  I tried to be encouraging to other moms who may be struggling with happy, healthy tips to help shake of mommy blues, blah blah blah...

 

 

Then today happened.  Probably one of the worst mornings I've had in a long time -- maybe even the worst I have ever had!  Are you afraid yet?  Well, here it goes..

 

This morning the kids slept in so I had a chance to drink my coffee, read my devotions, even take a shower!  I just knew all would be well and I had a chance to have a good Monday despite having to take Max to his checkup.

 

Wrong.  Wrong.  Wrong.  Wrong.

 

Between doctor checkups, Walmart, and Max being in a mood that only Jesus and disciplining can fix, I am not listening to my own advice very well today.  I plan on taking out my frustration on the house.  Hopefully I can get some cleaning done while I relieve my stress!  Ha!  If Max (or even myself) is still in a mood then we'll take a walk.

 

Like Zoe says as she strokes my cheek, "Don't worry about it...it's gonna be fine." :-)  She is such a hoot!

Just Another Day in Paradise

It's funny, I come up with this title while one kid is tackling me from behind and another is adding stickers to the missing buttons on my laptop.  Yep, another day in paradise for sure!

 

 

Titus is getting old enough that he is more involved with the older ones.  He crawls all over the house to keep up, and Zoe and Max even include him in their imaginative games!  I love to sit back and watch while they all laugh at each other for doing something silly.

 

Zoe wants to hold and snuggle Titus all the time.  For the most part he will let her.  All three will sit on the couch snuggled up together watching Daniel Tiger, Dinosaur Train, or Sesame Street.  I will sit there and just smile at my happy, healthy, beautiful babies getting along so well.

 

Sometimes it rains in paradise, though..

 

Max will think the moment is too sweet and out of nowhere poke Titus in the eye or slap Zoe on the head.  After disciplining Max and trying to get the moment back, Titus decides he's done and climbs off the couch.  Zoe thinks it is her turn to discipline Max so I then have to remind her that I am the mom and she needs to knock it off.

 

Yep, good feeling is gone.

 

When all three are crying and not getting along...I tend to leave the room...take a swig of my lukewarm coffee that I'm still trying to finish...take a deep breath...put a smile on my face...roll up my sleeves...and get back in there.

 

I'm sure I have said it many times before -- motherhood is not for the weak.  It is a hard job that never ends.  You may get a break here and there, but the dishes, laundry, house chores, and crying babies are always waiting for you when your short break is over.

 

Just this morning I read an article Parents Magazine posted on Facebook titled Moms, Stress, and Depression.  I'm pretty sure they were peeking through my windows, as well as a few other moms I know, when they wrote this!  Though I don't think I battle with depression...I can see how easy it would be to fall into it's trap!

 

Though the article was written for more serious cases of depression and they tell you to seek treatment professionally, I believe that you can help yourselves first with some steps.

 

I am not a professional in any way.  This is just some steps I try to take myself, and I believe they help!

 

1. Mommy Time.  It was hard to get up early at first, but I made myself get up with Paul in the mornings, and now I have a routine.  The kids tend to wake up around 8:00, so I get up around 6:00-6:30 and drink most of my coffee and read my morning devotions in peace.  I feel like that little bit of quiet time to myself really helps since I most likely won't have any the rest of the day.  If I have a chance to go to the store by myself, great!  If not, that's ok because I've already had some time alone.
2. Walk Away.  There are some times when all three are crying and I am about to cry myself.  I will walk away, just for a minute.  I will go to my bedroom or bathroom, close the door, and just sit there and take deep breaths.  It may take awhile, but I will take deep breaths and even whisper prayers of help until I feel my body calm down.  When I feel focused, I go back out and take care of the chaos with a clear head.
3. Jumping Jacks.  Ever have those days where you feel lonely and sad but you're not really sure why?  I know I do.  Whenever I feel blue I try to make myself do something active.  Whether I pop in a DVD or take the kids and dog out for a walk, I just go!  I don't make excuses because I want to feel better!  By the time I'm done with my DVD or walk with the kids, I feel so much better about myself.  By the way, I have even taken multiple walks in a day to feel better!  Do what you gotta do, ladies. :-)

At the end of the day, when all the little angels are tucked into their beds, I hope you think about all the blessings God bestowed upon you!  Don't reflect on the stress.  Don't worry about what didn't get done.  Reflect on the good.  Before we all know it, our babies will grow up and leave and we will miss the chaos they brought to our lives.

 

Now if you will excuse me...I have to clean off my iPhone from all the pictures my daughter has taken.  My son has a snotty nose, again, and my other son doesn't smell so pleasant.  Just another day! :-)

Zoe's broken arm

The plan was that as soon as Paul closed the store on July 2 we would all get in the car and drive all night to go to a cousin's wedding in Washington state.  I was so surprised at how everything was falling into place -- I packed early, got my house clean, with the help of Paul's dad the care was cleaned and packed and ready to go.  7:00 p.m. rolled around and we were putting last minute things away in the car when Zoe fell off the porch swing.  She wasn't being crazy or anything...just sitting on the swing and decided to get down.

 

When I heard her scream I could tell she was in pain, but I had no idea it was so serious.  I tried to calm her down by holding her, we prayed for her, we offered her a cookie, blah blah blah.. nothing was making her feel better.  Paul walked in the door and we told him what happened and we both made the decision to take her to the ER and have her arm checked out.

 

On the way there she was falling asleep, but every time Paul hit a bump or we made the slightest move she would cry out in pain.  I knew it was serious.  I prayed the whole time for my little girl.  All the while I felt sick to my stomach because I had to watch my little girl suffer.

 

 

Going to the ER is never fun.  They always take for.ev.er. to get anything done.  The time came for Zoe to get X-rays.  Paul carried her in and I followed behind.  The screams coming from my baby made me cry and, again, I felt so sick watching and feeling helpless.  I just wanted this all to be over!

 

I think we were in the ER for a total of 4 hours.  They told us that Zoe had Nursemaid's Elbow and wrapped her arm with an ace bandage, gave her the tiniest sling they had, told us to give her ibuprofen for the swelling, and gave us the clearance to drive through the night.

 

I was talking to Paul and asking her if she would feel up to the trip.  Would she even want to be the flower girl anymore?  She must have overheard me because she had the most serious look on her face and said, "Mom, I am going to the wedding and I'm going to drop the petals."  We got the rest of the family and drove through the night heading toward Seattle!

 

When we were about 2 hours away from Seattle I got a voicemail from the ER doctor saying he was going over Zoe's X-rays with the radiologist and the radiologist said Zoe DID have a fracture and there was a chance of her arm being dislocated.  I. Was. Furious.  I said, "Well what do I do now?!  You said it was ok to go and we're 2 hours out of Seattle!"  He told us to immediately go to and ER in Seattle and have them check her out.

 

We took Zoe to Children's Hospital in Seattle and they were absolutely amazing!  When I told the story I could tell they thought our ER was crazy.  Join the club!  We were only in there for 2 hours and Zoe felt so much more comfortable with them than she did with the people at our local ER!  They put a hard splint on her because she still had some swelling, and I scheduled an appointment for her to get a cast as soon as we got home.

 

After all that junk was over with we headed up to Darrington to Paul's papa's house and we stayed there till after the wedding.  While we were there my mom sent a package and it happened to have some surprises in it -- like Tangled!  My mom sent the package before Zoe broke her arm.  It's almost like God told her Zoe needed it ahead of time!  She was SO excited and told me over and over how much she loves the movie. :-)

 

On Tuesday we went to our local orthopedic surgeon and he took more X-rays of Zoe's arm (cha-ching, cha-ching, right?) and showed me the results.  Apparently the ER sent over their X-rays while we were gone and considered her break a Type 4 break which mostly involves surgery.  They did not tell me that over the phone which, again, made me furious with our local hospital.  But the doctor said that she had a very common fracture, showed me the X-rays and explained all the details with me which made me feel so much better.

 

Zoe picked her favorite color and the doctor put on the tiniest little cast ever and said we were good to go.  He was so nice in a gruff way!  It was like I was talking with my own Papa. ;-)  I immediately liked him and knew he was the best.

 

In two weeks we go back for a follow-up with more X-rays and we'll see where she's at as far as her healing!  Zoe is back to her normal self now that she has a cast on.  She definitely feels more comfortable knowing her arm doesn't hurt anymore.  I'm thankful for that!  She now is ready to help with most everything around the house...except maybe cleaning up her toys. ;-)  That is when I'm reminded with the cutest speech impediment, "But Mom...I have a bwoken awm."

 

When I think about everything we have gone through in the past week I get to feeling a little overwhelmed.  No one likes hospital bills.  Yikes!  But I know that all things work together for good to them that love God.  He has a reason behind everything that happens in our lives...whether they are good or bad.  I have peace knowing He will never fail us nor forsake us!

 

Oh, and now I am looking into plastic bubbles for each of my children.  Just kidding.  But seriously. :-)

I don't even know where this is going!

Hello all!  I don't have any pictures for this post.  Sorry to disappoint. :-)  I'll make sure to take some here soon!

Today is going to be a BUSY day!  I'm pretty intimidated by it honestly...  This morning I am hoping to get my house in order, clean Zoe's room, and get all birthday cards in the mail before 1:00 p.m.  I have to take all the kids to a WIC appointment and then hurry back home for our ladies' book discussion!

A week ago I hosted a book discussion at my house for our married ladies in the church on the book The Power of a Praying Wife by Stormie Omartian.  I only read the intro for all the ladies and immediately knew in my heart that this book was going to change my life!  We're only reading a chapter a week and I feel like I need to highlight every single word in the first chapter because she hits the nail on the head when it comes to women and marriages.  I am excited to see what the Lord has in store for us ladies as we read this book!

 

After the book discussion everyone is going to head to my garage to start setting everything up for our church's yard sale this weekend.  That is going to be such a tedious job that I'm not really looking forward to it...  I love going to yard sales, but I don't like having my own!  Too much work!  Anyways, most of the money will be going to local expense so I'm praying that God will greatly bless our efforts!

There is now a 40% chance of a storm tomorrow afternoon so I don't know about that...  We shall see!  Either way we have to have this yard sale so here we go!

As much as I dread this weekend, I am praying that we have a great time and we all find humor instead of stress!  I'm speaking to myself mostly.  The stressful gal that I am!

Happy weekend to everyone!

Growing Up

 

No matter how old you are, one is never too old to learn a lesson!  This past week God is giving me a lesson.  In the beginning of the week I was freaking out and allowing my emotions to overtake me to the point that I was experiencing anxiety.  As the days went on and I realized I wasn't handling the situation the way God wanted me to, I went to Him in prayer.

 

I love how, when you realize how silly you are and you remember to take a minute and ask God to help you...immediately you feel His warmth and peace like snuggling up with a load of laundry as soon as they're out of the dryer.  Did that make you sigh when you thought of it?  I know I did!

 

I still have little things in my life that are stressful, but I have a loving God who is holding my hand and guiding me through it all.  I'm so thankful I could cry.  We serve such a wonderful and loving God!

 

 

So this weekend it is my turn to leave my husband and kids and go out of town.  I am really excited because this is only my second ladies retreat I have ever been to, but at the same time I'm so nervous because I have never left my babies before.  I know Paul and his dad will do a great job, I don't doubt that, but I know how emotional they get when Dad leaves...how are they going to feel when Mommy leaves??

 

Yesterday the kids and I went to the library and picked out a few books for them to read this weekend.  I also picked up an audio books for us ladies!  Today I put together a Daddy Survival Kit for Paul and his dad.  Call me paranoid. =D  It just made me feel better writing things down, ok?!

 

I know that when this weekend is over I will feel rejuvinated spiritually, mentally, and physically.  By the time I get home I will be so happy to see my husband and babies, and I know I will have a clear head because of my mini break!  Even though I'm slightly dreading it. =D  By the time the weekend is over I will decide if this needs to be a yearly thing...or if one time is good enough for me. :)

 

Off to take my babies to the park!

Three Questions

 

 

 

I feel like I ask myself these questions every evening after I put the kids to bed and I'm finally sitting in silence. Did I love enough? Did I laugh enough? Did I make a difference? Sometimes I feel like I have failed, and other nights I think I did ok. And then it hit me ---

 

What if I asked myself these questions in the morning before I get out of bed?!  Will I love enough? Will I laugh enough? Will I make a difference?

 

When I rephrased my questions and had this mindset before I even got out of bed, I realized that at the end of the day I felt better about myself because I lived a fuller day with my husband and little ones.  I make sure to give lots of hugs and kisses.  I choose to laugh instead of feel stress.  And I make sure to make a difference for my husband and children.

 

I'm not perfect.  There are days when I don't laugh enough and stress overcomes me.  But I know that tomorrow I will try even harder to be who I need to be!

 

Do you love enough?  Do you laugh enough?  Have you made a difference?

Missing Daddy

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So Paul left Sunday afternoon to start his training for his new position at his job.  What a horrible day!  As Paul backed out of the driveway and drove away I had to hold Zoe back because she wanted to run for him.  I tried to explain that he was going to "work" but she is too smart for that.  She cried for him for five hours.

Going to church was pretty rough only because I wasn't in the mood to be around people -- Zoe wasn't either.  The service was really good, though, and I appreciated the message.  Afterward we went to dinner at Pizza Hut.  Normally Zoe is crazy about that place, but on Sunday she just wasn't in the mood.  My dinner was spent taking care of two crying babies.

My sister-in-law spent the night with me on Sunday night.  Another friend dropped by too and we spent the evening walking the dog and watching comical movies.  I stayed up till around 1:30 because I wanted to be so exhausted that I didn't care if I went to bed alone.  Even being completely exhausted I had a hard time.  As soon as I laid down I felt myself have a panic attack.  I was so close to calling Paul and telling him to come home right now.  I was seriously freaking out -- tossing and turning, pacing, not able to breathe..  I finally snapped out of it and prayed to God:

God, I desperately need you right now!  Please cover my whole body in your divine peace and give me the courage I need to do this.  I cannot be like this for a week.  My kids need me right now.  PLEASE help me to gain control over my emotions!

Immediately I felt God's divine peace cover my body from head to toe.  I thanked Him so much I fell asleep with a prayer on my lips.

Monday was a lousy day.  I'm not even going to sugar coat it!  Zoe was still emotional -- "I want Daddy, Mom. I want Daddy."  When my mother-in-law came to pick up her daughter because they were leaving for a week long camping trip, Zoe had the worst meltdown.  She was seriously freaking out.  I felt so bad for my baby.  I held her and comforted her the best that I could.

We didn't get anything done that day.  The house still looks like a bomb blew up.. I hardly ate anything because I had no appetite at all.. I cried every few minutes..  It was a nightmare.

I was invited over to my brother and sister-in-law's house for dinner last night, and a part of me wanted to go, but I knew I was such a wreck I would not be a fun person to be around.  Plus, the way Zoe handled Paul and her Gram leaving, I didn't think she would do so well with going over to her cousin's house and not seeing her there (they went on the camping trip too).  I couldn't do that to Zoe.  And not to mention I was too nervous being out after dark.  Instead, I made Hamburger Helper and the kids and I ate dinner in front of the TV watching America's Funniest Home Videos.  Pathetic, aren't we?

I put the kids to bed and stayed up late to work.  I have a lot of work to do this week and because I didn't do anything the whole day, I knew I needed to do some before bed.  I stayed up till a little after midnight before I felt ok with going to bed.

I set up the pack-n-play in my bedroom for both the kids to sleep in there.  They have slept together multiple times and in the past they had done so well!  I wanted them with my in my room so that if anything happened -- a break-in, fire, etc. -- I would have my babies close by instead of them being on the opposite ends of the house.  Who would I go to first?

Anyways, they went to bed just fine.  After midnight I tiptoed in and crawled into bed and you know what?  No tears. =)  I knew I got one day down and I could do this.  Not even 20 minutes later both kids tossed and turned.  They were thirsty, they needed diaper changes, they were plumb restless!  I figured it wasn't going to work having them sleep in the same bed, so I brought Zoe in bed with me.  I figured I would give it a try and see how she would do.

Nope.

She wasn't going to sleep with me either.  I finally put her in her own bed, but I could still hear her toss and turn.. ask for drinks.. whine.. sing songs.. you name it!  She didn't fall asleep till around 5:30 this morning -- which means Mommy didn't get to fall asleep till around 5:30 this morning.

-_-

The kids "slept in" till around 9:30 this morning.  I was pretty bummed when they woke up because I was still so exhausted, but what can ya do?  I brought my babies to bed with me and we lounged around and watched Blues Clues in bed before breakfast.

So far the kids have had their oatmeal and I am still working on my morning coffee.  When I'm done with this post I plan on going through my chore chart and getting this house whipped back into shape.  I am so thankful that God is giving me the motivation I need.  I do not want another day like yesterday.  One cannot live like that for a whole week.

I have so much I want to get done today -- I want to do everything on my chore chart, I have a lot of work because I'm helping a coworker this week, I want to start Zoe on pre-preschool (I was supposed to start yesterday), Baylee needs her walks.. etc.  The rest of this week is going to fly by for me -- thank the good Lord!

If I get everything done that I want, I would like to take the kids to the park -- Zoe would love to go on the "woo" (slide) and I think Bubba would like to play with her too.  We shall see.

My Mom told me yesterday that I am going to realize just how much I can handle this week.  It is definitely a growing up lesson.  Obviously it has been hard the past couple days, but it's a lesson I needed to learn eventually.  I can do this!  One day at a time...

Praising in the Storm.

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Paul and I have been going through some things this past week that have not been easy.  Sometimes life gives you a lesson that seems really unfair to have to learn.  We have been doing a lot of praying and trying to make sure that our thoughts and reactions are praising God for what we DO have.. not what we may have to GIVE UP.

I don't know why it seems like problems get dumped on you while others may never feel what you have to go through, but I know I'm not in Job's position.  At least I have a darling little home, I have my handsome, hard working husband, and I have 2 beautiful, fun loving babies to keep me company.  Not to mention a third little bundle of joy in October-November.

I think Casting Crown's song Praise You In This Storm fits perfectly to how Paul and I feel -- and probably a lot more people out there right now!

I was sure by now
God You would have reached down
And wiped our tears away
Stepped in and saved the day
But once again, I say "Amen", and it's still raining

As the thunder rolls
I barely hear Your whisper through the rain
"I'm with you"
And as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise the God who gives
And takes away

And I'll praise You in this storm
And I will lift my hands
For You are who You are
No matter where I am
And every tear I've cried
You hold in Your hand
You never left my side
And though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm

God is so good to His children.  Life is unfair sometimes, but it makes me forward to Heaven that much more.  No more sorrow.  No more pain.  No more feeling desperate.

No matter what you're going through today, remember to always praise the Lord through your storm!  Rejoice in hope.  Continue in tribulation. Continue instant in prayer!

Sigh.

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We were married about 7 months when we moved to Havre for Paul to go to college for Graphic Design.  I have kept busy with jobs, eventually kids, and plenty of housework.  I never let it bother me that he was never around because I knew that he would be done before I knew it and things would be different.

These past couple weeks have been the hardest weeks of my married life, though.  I know I'm pregnant and that doesn't help, but I'm emotional, irritable, lonely, anxious..  I told my Mom that I just go around with a Garfield attitude -- grumbling about anything and everything for no reason.

My days are not any different than before.  I still take care of the kids, do my best to keep up with the house, work, run errands outside of the home such as going to the bank, grocery shopping, etc.  The weather actually has been getting nicer so I have been taking the kids outside and playing which is nice.

Paul stays at the college after class working on projects or studying with fellow classmates and won't be home till after 10:00 -- sometimes even close to midnight.  I have tucked the kids in for the night (alone), I have tidied the house, and I work.. out of boredom.

I don't resent Paul for not being home.  I never have.  I am so thankful that he is such a hard worker and that he is doing his absolute best for his family.  I'm just drained.  Emotional.  Pregnant.  I'm just ready for him to be done with school!

I know things won't be the way I want them to be.  Paul will then be working full-time and he will still be gone all day.  But at least I will have the evenings with him.  He will be able to spend time with his babies.  We will get to go out and do things together as a family.

I just want my family together, that's all.  This next week and couple days can't pass by soon enough for me!

So for the crew that live here in Havre:

If I seem distant, Garfield-ish, or a little emotional.. don't worry about it.  This too shall pass!

No one says...

No one says on their deathbed, "I wish I had spent more time at work."

Investing time and energy in your marriage and family pays the richest dividends of all.



Maximus Kirby




They sleep in the funniest positions!




Zoe and cousin Jax




My toe jam pickers!




I desperately need a coffee!



It's been kind of a hectic week.  I woke up to the above sorry face and couldn't help but take a picture!  Ha ha!

All I know is that I'm REALLY looking forward to the vacation we will be taking in May!  I was extremely bummed when I thought it wouldn't happen because I had allowed myself to get my hopes up and I hate being let down.  But thank the Lord we will be going after all!  I can't wait for a 10-day road trip with my husband and kids.  We will meet up with my family in California and have the best of time together!

Words.

When I saw this picture it made my eyes well up.  I cannot tell you how many times I've simply said Jesus' name and that was all I could get out.  Instead of words I let my tears explain exactly how I feel.  There have been many, many times that I've just poured my heart out to God and not utter one word because I simply don't know what to say.

What is troubling your heart tonight?  What do you need Jesus to take care of in your life?  Do you need someone to pray for you?

Anxiety

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Here lately I have been struggling with anxiety attacks.

I've struggled with them probably my whole life,

and I don't know where they come from.

I have a hard time breathing.

My left side and chest go numb and tingly.

I feel anxious and don't know why.

All of my life I have struggled with certain "phobias."

One of them being I have to pysche myself out just to answer the phone,

even if it's someone I love.

I have to REALLY pysche myself out if I have to call anyone,

especially strangers.

I'm so thankful my husband and family try and help me whenever I feel this way.

They shower me with encouraging words and scriptures to calm my jittery nerves.

I've also been watching and listening to light-hearted movies and music.

What are you thankful for that your family does for you?

One of those days

 

I don't mean to complain, but I've been having one of those days.  As a matter of fact, it's slowly turning into one of those weeks!  Don't worry, this won't be a woe-is-me kind of post.  I always try to find humor in everything that's going on in my life, but to be perfectly honest, I'm almost getting to the point of hysterical laughter and an eye twitch.  Won't I be funny to watch at my next Walmart trip?!

I'm totally kidding by the way.  The past couple of days have not been the best for me, but they could always be worse.  I'm still in a good mood (for the most part) and at the end of the day Paul and the kids always have me laughing!

We all fall into ruts here and there, though.  No biggie.  Life goes on!

How do you cope when having a bad day?  I just indulged in a couple of Reeses cups and now I feel like a heffer.  Maybe I'll take my babies and go for a walk up at the mall.  The chocolate made me feel better, though.

"Go away pain.."

Haha!  Oh my word, I'm JUST kidding!

Any baby yet?

The reason for my absence on this blog is not because Max has come.. unfortunately.  He is still very much comfortable in my womb.  Actually, the reason for my absence mostly is because I don't know what else to talk about since my thought process is overwhelmed with the feeling of being stretched to the max (Ha! Get it?) and wanting so much to hold a little baby again.

This morning I remembered how I felt when Paul and I were trying for a baby before we found out we were pregnant with Zoe.  Every month when I would stare at only one pink line instead of two I would feel devestated!  I never thought we were going to get pregnant.  I finally threw my hands up in the air one day and said, "God, I give up! I am putting this in your hands and I'm not going to worry about it anymore!"  The very next day I found out I was pregnant. =)

I've had that story in the back of my head for the past few weeks now, and everyday I pray and tell God that everything is in His hands when it comes to the delivery of our baby.  Every morning when I wake up and haven't had this baby, though, I feel more upset and more stressed because it hasn't happened yet.  Apparently not putting this in God's hands like I told Him.  Oops..

Now I'm REALLY praying that God will help me to REALLY put everything into His hands and to stop fretting so much.  I know every woman who has ever been pregnant knows exactly how I feel.  Not because I'm expecting God to put me into labor the next day, but because my emotional state has reached an all-time low and I'm tired of feeling this way.

So here I am sitting at my table with a cup of coffee sweetened perfectly with French vanilla and I'm feeling content -- really!  I'm getting ready to read my morning devotions, take a shower, and I'm going to enjoy this day God has given me.  I'm just taking it one day at a time, because that's all I can do.

Happy Friday everyone!

Hormones

After my Castor oil incident I had previously written about, I took my second trip to the bathroom to finish throwing up what I had managed to chug down, as well as everything else I ate and drank to try and cover up that awful flavor in my mouth.

If violent puking does not cause contractions, I don't know what will.

I took a shower (to get the "contents" out of my hair) and then went back to bed.  After a quick 30 minute nap I think I'm feeling better..

Let's get one thing clear, though.  I am 38 weeks 5 days pregnant.  I am not oblivious to the fact that I have not reached 40 weeks yet.  If one more person tells me I'm still early or to be patient I'm going to freak out.  I'm serious.

I am a funny person.  The reason I keep you all posted on what I've done to try and induce labor as well as what has happened because of it is because I think it's funny and I want to share.  Don't you think I need a little humor in my life right now? ;)

As you can see Max is not here yet.  Though that is a little stressful to me, I know there is a reason why.  I pray everyday for a healthy son and I know that he still needs some "baking time" as some would like to say.  I would never wish harm on any of my children.  I accept that God is trying to teach me how to breathe and to stop and smell the roses.

Thanks for understanding.  Even if you don't, and you still think I need "advice".. I suggest you keep it to yourself.  Like I told my younger sister, "I'm this close to knocking those freckles off your face."  Just smile and nod.. or better yet, laugh with me! =)

Pay no attention to the hormonal pregnant woman behind the curtain..

Do you really want to know?

It's days like today that make me want to sit in a corner and bawl my little eyes out.

We had friends over last night and we stayed up way too late!  It was so much fun I didn't want it to end, but eventually everyone went home and around 2:30 I crawled into bed and crashed.  Zoe decided that this morning she was going to be rotten -- literally.

Around 7:30 I wake up to Zoe crying over the baby monitor.  I didn't get up at first because sometimes she'll cry in her sleep but isn't fully awake.  Well, this morning she was awake.  I got up to find her crawling around in a poop explosion.  Lovely.

I got her cleaned up, wrapped her in a snuggly blanket and rocked her while listening to Jack Johnson.  Not even Jack Johnson was able to get her back to sleep.  After fighting with her for an hour I figured there was no chance of me going back to bed so we had breakfast.

After breakfast Zoe and I crawled into bed with Paul.  I was kinda hoping she'd give in and fall asleep if we had snuggle time.  Ha!  No snuggle time this morning.  Instead she was a wild monkey that climbed all over the place.  While she played Paul and I talked about some latest things and ended up feeling discouraged about certain things going on right now.  We both just feel the need for a VACATION!  When will we ever have that?  It didn't take long before Zoe was screaming, throwing fits, and hitting.

That is not my child..

Where do kids pick up such nasty habits?  Paul and I both were on top of it and made sure to discipline her every. single. time. but it didn't seem to matter.  After fighting for what seemed like forever, Paul picked her up, swaddled her tight, and put her back to bed and closed the door.  We sat there listening to her scream bloody murder and cry for.. you guessed it.. an hour.

After everyone was dressed we left for my inlaw's house so I could get started on work.  I have been swamped for the past week, and will continue to be through next week.  It literally is the only thing I've been doing all day, every day till late at night.  I hope my paycheck looks nice.

After going over to my inlaw's we decided to grab a quick bite to eat -- jelly sandwich for Zoe, ramen noodles for Paul and I.  Zoe finally was quiet while she ate her lunch.  It was then I broke down and let myself cry it all out.  I'm so thankful Paul just held me without making me feel foolish for crying!  After I was done, I wiped away my tears and got on with my day.  Zoe was back to her crying self and Paul and I both had to work.

Thankfully a cup of milk and Jack Johnson put Zoe to sleep after lunch and I had an hour to work.  While working, though, I got a text from Paul with this scripture --

But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.

Take therefore no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself.  Sufficient unto the day is evil thereof.

The Lord knows our every need and also the desires of our hearts.  Even though today has been a stressful day to say the least, we should still thank Him for our blessings and continue to keep our focus on Him.

When Zoe woke up from her nap she was a lot better.  I still see her pushing the limits here and there, but she's happy.  Oh, and she drew Mommy a picture.  How sweet!  I hope the rest of my day continues to go smoothly -- and tomorrow Paul and I have a day off!  Too bad we're too poor to go anywhere.  We'll still make it work, though.

Thanks for listening. :)

Longest. Trip. Ever.

As you all know, Paul and I headed to Vancouver, WA yesterday.  We were on the road a little before 6:00 and we were SO STOKED for actually being on time and remembering most everything.. well, 2 hours down the road Zoe made sure we knew that this would be the longest trip we ever took in our lives.

Zoe has been teething, plus she has a new big girl carseat, we were on the road for 13 or 14 hours.. this all adds up to screaming/crying the entire way.  Not even Jack Johnson was helping our little girl -- and he always works.  Oh my word.  We all are so glad to be out of that car!

We were able to say hello to some of the family, sneak peeked on the wedding cake, and then headed to our room where all 3 of us crashed.  Paul was out of the room by 7:00 to take the guys out for their Bachelor party day, and Zoe and I will be hanging out with my parents -- who just happen to be an hour or so away with one of their revivals!  How awesome is that!

Now that we all are settled in, happy, and ready to play before the wedding, I'll make sure to take pictures. ;)

I deserve an award!!

Actually, I did receive some "sweet" awards from Miss Bianca.  You can check her out HERE!  You can see them in my ::new:: awards tab above.  But today, I think I owed myself a different kind of award.. like, you-are-the-blondest-mom-in-the-whole-world kind of award.

I just got Zoe up from her afternoon nap and we were playing on the living room floor.  All of a sudden I realized I forgot to feed Baylee so I headed to the backyard.  Of course, Zoe started to complain because she hates when I leave the room, but I figured she would get over it since I would only be gone two seconds.

I didn't bother with a coat because we reached a scorcher of 42 degrees!  I went out, and Baylee immediately started jumping on me.  Oh. My. Word.  I hate it when she jumps on me!  So I figured I would be smart and put her on the back porch and close the screen door.

And then it happened.

As soon as I scooped her last scoop, I heard ::click:: and my stomach dropped.  No way.  I went to the back screen door and tried to open it.  Oh. My. WORD!!  Baylee locked my door?!?!  How did she do that?!?!  I kept trying to open the door, hoping Baylee was only teasing me and any minute the screen door would unlock and I could go back inside -- with my baby.

I finally gave up and searched my backyard, trying to think of something!

What do I do?  What do I do?  Would a stick work?  I wish I had a bobby pin.  Should I use that brick and break my first window, storming into my kitchen feeling like a hero for breaking into my own house?  Ugh.  No, that would just cost money.  Maybe I should cut my arm off with a dull pocketknife?  NO!!  Think, Grace, think!!

Obviously I couldn't think of what to do so I called Paul at work.  He was busy and couldn't get to the phone so I called my mother-in-law.  She had my father-in-law at my house in 5 minutes.  When he got there I told him what happened and he did what any comforting father-in-law would do -- he laughed.  I laughed.  This really was hysterical!

We walked from the backyard to the front just to check on Zoe, who was bawling her eyes out and wanting to be held, of course.  We went back to the backyard and my father-in-law tried getting my window open -- the one that is above the stairs leading to the basement.  HA!  It would be the only window that is unlocked -- which Paul knows he locked so we're thinking God must have unlocked it ahead of time knowing what a dope I was going to be.

The window was sealed shut because of our recent paint job, but thankfully we were able to break the seal without breaking the window.  My father-in-law jumped in head first and I prayed really hard that he wouldn't break his legs falling down my stairs!  That would just be the icing on the cake for me, wouldn't it?

He was safe and able to open my screen door and Baylee ran for her food while I ran for my baby!  Needless to say she was very happy to see me and I was very happy to see her!

I hope to never do anything stupid like that ever again!!

It doesn't get much better then this

You never know how your baby is going to handle their first plane ride.  She would either be the fun, sweet little baby that I know and love, or she could be a vicious beast that screams and cries leaving the rest of the passengers of the plane hating us for having the nerve to travel publicly with her.  I let her sleep in hoping it would help our late night flight.

We were smart this year and checked in online, so when we got to the airport we went straight to the security check.  When we got there we were so nervous we wouldn't make it because the security long was very l.o.n.g.

We soon realized that traveling with a baby is a little more difficult than we expected -- especially when the security guards ask us to take our daughter's shoes and jacket off.  Really?  We put a bomb in our baby's shoes.  Serious?

We finally made it through security and headed to our gate.  The gate was packed and there were only two seats left.  Lucky us!  well, that's what we thought.  Unfortunately the flight was an hour and a half behind schedule thanks to a leaky faucet in one of the bathrooms.

While we were sitting around waiting Zoe did real well smiling and talking to the people we sat next to -- for the first hour.  About half an hour before we boarded the plane Zoe started to get cranky.  The poor thing was tired and hungry.  Thanks to nursing I knew that as soon as I started they would call us to board, so we tried to stall her as much as we could.

By the time we actually boarded Zoe was full blown screaming at us for food.  We walked through the plane with our screaming baby and found our seats.  As soon as we sat down I fed her until we were in flight.  I'm so thankful she fell asleep.  Too bad she couldn't stay!

About halfway through flight the stinking pilot had to make an announcement so that loud ::ding:: came overhead.  Scared the bajeebers out of Zoe.  After that she was wide awake looking around at everything and everyone.

Zoe's first plane ride!

Eventually I started hearing the strain.  Uh-oh.  Boy is that kid gassy!  She would pick when we're in a confined area with a bunch of people to rip her nastiness.  If that wasn't bad enough, she decided when we were in descent to fill her diaper with the nastiness of green when I couldn't do anything about it.  For reals.

When we finally landed and the plane stopped everyone started standing up and getting ready to get out. Let me just add a rant right here real quick, if that's ok with everyone.

Just because the pilot turns the Fasten Your Seatbelt sign off that does not mean everyone needs to stand up at once and crowd each other out.  This causes people like me, with young claustrophobic children, to feel uncomfortable.  Especially since once the Fasten Your Seatbelt sign goes off so does the A/C.

As soon as people started crowding Zoe started to feel hot which meant -- you guessed it -- more crying and more screaming.  As soon as we stepped off the plane she relaxed.  ::whew::

We saw my parents waiting for us and it was a beautiful thing!  They hugged us and immediately took Zoe out of my arms to hold her and coo over her.  Unfortunately because of the green poo and previous crying she was too worked up and eventually started crying, again, about these people holding her instead of mom.

My mom and I took her to the bathroom while I cleaned her poo.  Unfortunately that did not make her feel any better, so we decided to leave and find the nearest gas station to 1) get a drink for the long trip home and 2) to feed the wee babe.

After I fed Zoe she calmed down some.  We put her in her car seat and started heading home.  Unfortunately the last half hour of the trip -- or was it longer? -- was more screaming and crying due to Zoe being plain tuckered out.  Nothing Jack Johnson can fix, though, thank goodness.

Thankfully by the time she was out of the car seat she had a second wind and let everyone hold her, even my parents.  It was such a late night.  Zoe actually slept through the whole night in the pack-n-play!  Thank you Jesus!  This morning she woke up her normal happy self.  Life is good again.

Here are some of the many pictures I have taken so far.

Papa Shu and Uncle Tommy making her smile for the camera

Zoe loves everyone already!

Cheese!

Tonight we get to see my grandparents.  This will be the first time they see Zoe!  I'm very excited to show her off -- as long as it doesn't involve anymore screaming.  Oh boy.

Who am I kidding?!

Ok, so you know how in my previous post how I said we need to relax and enjoy family during this holiday season.. well, I haven't really done that yet.  ::ahem::  I feel like I'm running around in circles which means nothing is getting done!

No baking, my house is still a wreck, I have not wrapped one present, I didn't get to watch any of the classic Christmas movies, the list goes on..

So what have I been doing?  That is the million dollar question!!!!  I'm losing my mind.  That's it in a nutshell.

It's time to whip up a list..

• Tidy the house -- I would love to say clean the house but we don't have time for that right now.  I just need to tidy up the worst of it and then we'll worry about really cleaning on Monday, December 27.
• Wrap all of the presents -- I would love to put everything in gift bags because I really am not a fan of wrapping presents.  I honestly don't have the patience for it.  But I make myself wrap presents for Christmas.  It shows that I love you enough to wrap a present for you!
• I did watch Holiday Inn for the first time today.  It was pretty good, but I'm used to watching White Christmas and It's a Wonderful Life pretty much everyday leading up to Christmas.  Not to mention the kid's classics; Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer, Frosty the Snowman, The Year Without a Santa Claus, Santa Claus is Coming to Town, etc.  Can you believe I do not own one Christmas movie?  I should be drug out into the street and shot.
• Baking.. ah baking..  I'll do it in my spare time.

You may be asking yourself, "Self, why is Grace posting her list for all the world to see?"  My answer is this -- why not?!  Now I have a million people (not really, close to 2,000) watching to see if I really did work on my list!  Perfect idea!

As for tonight, Paul and I are trying a new recipe to bring to church this evening.  Have you ever tried the loaded queso from On The Border?  It's pretty much amazing!  We're going to try and make it ourselves -- with our own little twists.  Wish us luck!

If you don't hear from me before Christmas, I hope you all have a wonderful weekend with your family and friends!  Remember the reason for the season!  I plan on reading the story of Jesus' birth to Zoe on Christmas Eve before bed.  Traditions have to start somewhere, right?