Eucharisteo

I attend one of the local Christian church's Bible study here in town and we just finished reading One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp.  I know that God had the women of that church choose this book specifically for me and what I was going through in my life.  Life had thrown Paul and I a curve ball and I felt like I was struggling with my head barely above water and I needed a helping hand desperately.

Paul has been furloughed since April of this year.  During that time he was able to find a job as a handyman as well as help with a lot of responsibilities at church.  Between him working his odd jobs and me being able to get my old data entry job back, we were able to pay the bills and we had food on the table.  For the most part I felt peace about everything that was going on.  God has always been faithful in the past and I knew He would help us through this time.  Every month, after paying the bills and buying a week's worth of groceries, I would feel my chest tighten and tears stinging my eyes ..... every month I would have to pray again that God would give me peace about our situation and remind myself that He is always faithful.

When I went to the ladies' Bible study I had no idea what this book was about, but it didn't take long for me to realize my life was about to change for the better.  We read the book through the week, then every Tuesday we would watch a video from the author that would be incredibly deep, and after watching the videos we would have group discussions and talk about even deeper issues going on in our lives.  It was uncomfortable sometimes, for me, and I'm sure all the other women, because we don't like to talk about the things we are dealing with.  I know for me, I hate talking about my weaknesses and struggles.

Eucharisteo.  Grace.  Joy.  Thanksgiving.

She taught us about the Greek word eucharisteo -- this is the word that can change everything: eucharisteo—it comes right out of the Gospel of Luke: “And he took bread, gave thanks and broke it, and gave it to them … ” (Luke 22:19 NIV). In the original language, “he gave thanks” reads “eucharisteo.”

The root word of eucharisteo is charis, meaning “grace.” Jesus took the bread and saw it as grace and gave thanks. He took the bread and knew it to be gift and gave thanks. Eucharisteo, thanksgiving, envelopes the Greek word for grace, charis. But it also holds its derivative, the Greek word chara, meaning “joy.” Charis. Grace. Eucharisteo. Thanksgiving. Chara. Joy.

Deep chara joy is found only at the table of the euCHARisteo; the table of thanksgiving. The holy grail of joy, God set it in the very center of Christianity. The Eucharist is the central symbol of Christianity. Glynn, doesn’t the continual repetition of beginning our week at the table of the Eucharist clearly place the whole of our lives into the context of thanksgiving?

One of Christ’s very last directives He offers to His disciples is to take the bread, the wine, and to remember. Do this in remembrance of Me. Remember and give thanks.

This is the crux of Christianity: to remember and give thanks, eucharisteo.

Once she introduced eucharisteo in the book, I have done my best to have grace, to be thankful, and to have joy every single day.  Sometimes it isn't easy when the kids are spilling cups, bouncing off the walls, or not taking their naps so I can get some work done, but I don't let it discourage me.  I am not perfect, but each day I strive to be better than I am today and hopefully I will be where I want to be!

God ..... is always good and we are always loved ..... even when what He gives may appear ugly.  Ann Voskamp

I could write so much more about this wonderful book, but I think you should just read it on your own and see what you think!  I will close with this story about my husband and I that happened just a couple weeks ago .....

On our way home from visiting family we experienced a life lesson.  We drove through a major town and I suggested to my husband that he should get gas.  He had intentions of doing so, but he figured there would be one more station up ahead every time he passed an exit leading into the town.  90+ miles later, we got off on the appropriate exit leading us to the next major town that is 30 miles away, and we only have 15 miles of gas left in our tank.  We have ran out of gas more than once in our nearly 8 years of marriage so that fear is always in the back of my mind (that is also why I nicely suggested getting gas 90 miles ago, but oh well!) so realizing we would be stranded in the middle of nowhere with four small children and no cell phone service was hitting home fast.

Even though I felt the anxiety creeping in to my heart I did my best to remain calm.  My natural instincts would be to start a fight, but I knew God was giving us a life lesson and I really didn't want to blow it.

We found a little town on the side of the road that we pulled into hoping to find a gas station ..... they had a school, a fire station, a post office, and no gas station.  At this point we only had 10 miles left so we pulled back onto the highway hoping to find a station soon.  Paul and I watched the miles go down from 10, to 9, to 8, to 7 ..... I suggested to Paul that we needed to pray together that God help us, and he made sure to let me know he had already started a long time ago! :-)  I started praying too -- whether in my head or out loud I can't remember -- but I prayed and asked God to divinely help us.  I told Him I had faith that He would help us whether we found a gas station or not.  I had peace as Paul and I continued to watch the gas gauge go down to 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, 0 .....

We drove on 0 miles for a little while, and we saw a bend in the road.  I told Paul with confidence that there was a gas station around the corner and that God was with us.  I didn't know for sure since I had never been in this area before, but I strongly believe God told me.  We went around the hill, and there was a tiny little gas station just waiting for us.

God took something that could have been ugly and taught us an amazing lesson -- though we didn't realize how amazing of a lesson till the next day.

The day after we were home from our trip Paul went back to work as a handyman.  A couple hours after he left he called to say that, after 6 months of being furloughed from the railroad, they were calling him back to work!

Sometimes we feel like we are running low on God's blessings.  We see the blessings meter running down to empty and, though we have no idea how God will do it, we know He never, ever, ever leaves us stranded on the side of the road.  He will always remain faithful.  He just wants to see how faithful you are to Him.

I am kind of surprised at how long of a post this is.  I read through it wondering if I should edit it to make it a little shorter, but honestly I feel like everything on here needs to stay.  So for the few who actually read this post to the end, I really hope it blesses you and you feel encouraged.  I don't know what you're going through in your life, but God does, and maybe He led you to this post for a reason! 

In the stressful times; seek God.

In the painful times; praise God.

In the terrible times; trust God.

And

At all times ..... At all times ..... At all times

Thank God.

I'm Baaack!

So much has happened since the last time I updated my blog.  SO MUCH.  I won't bore you with all the nitty gritty details, but here is the shortened version. 

• The kids and I drove down to Arkansas with my Dad a month before my sister's wedding. 
• We were busy every. single. day. leading up to the wedding making sure everything was perfect.  Only a few of those days were stressful. ;-)
• I got addicted to Happy Hour.  Sonic Happy Hour.
• The kids loved playing outside with Uncle Tommy, Uncle Alex, and the horses.  It was adorable to watch!
• I found out Titus is never allowed to have Dum-Dums unsupervised.
• I got to see family I haven't seen in years.  They got to meet my little babies and fall in love with them.
• When Paul finally made it down I was the happiest girl in the world!  The kids were so excited that Daddy was finally with us too!
• Paul helped take pictures of the wedding.  I loved watching him.  He's so handsome. :-)
• My sister's wedding was beautiful!  I'm so happy for her and my new brother-in-law!
• I enjoyed the many jam sessions and craved more.
• I'm thankful Paul and I took 3 days to drive home.  Taking our time and stopping to do fun things on the way was a great idea!
• I have lost 9 lbs since being home!
• We were given a really nice swing set.  Best. gift. ever.
• When we got home from our vacation Paul got furloughed from the railroad.  Not cool.
• I miraculously got my old job back at Construction Monitor.
• Happy Mother's Day!

That's a very rough summary of our life right now.  Aren't you glad I didn't go into the details?

I really enjoyed my Mother's Day.  I'm so thankful I get to spend the rest of my life with my best friend and we raise these four amazing kids together.  We may not know what we are doing half the time, but at least we're not doing it alone!

Life is a little different right now.  A little stressful.  Not knowing what the future holds can feel pretty scary if you allow it.  But Paul and I have reminded each other that God has everything under control and He will never ever leave us hanging.  He has already shown us that He is going to take care of us through the amazing family and friends that we have!  I feel like "I Know Who Holds Tomorrow" is stuck on repeat in my head. :-)

I don't know about tomorrow;

I just live from day to day.

I don't borrow from its sunshine

For it's skies may turn to grey.

I don't worry o'er the future,

For I know what Jesus said.

And today I'll walk beside Him,

For He knows what is ahead.

Many things about tomorrow

I don't seem to understand

But I know who holds tomorrow

And I know He holds my hand.

I don't know about tomorrow;

It may bring me poverty.

But the one who feeds the sparrow,

Is the one who stands by me.

And the path that is my portion

May be through the flame or flood;

But His presence goes before me

And I'm covered with His blood.

I'm so thankful I have a relationship with God.  He gives me peace.  He gives me strength.  He gives me courage!  God blessed me with my old job so I can help provide for the family yet still be home so I don't miss out on anything.  Zoe still enjoys her schoolwork at the kitchen table and is slowly learning how to read!  The kids live outside in the backyard -- they're already a shade or two darker than me. :-) Paul and I are daydreaming about the things we want to do around the house.  We are making lists and will slowly do little things here and there that will improve our little yellow home.  We're still thinking positive!  Most days. ;-)  

Practice Makes Perfect

If you missed my last post I wrote about how overwhelming it can be to try to have a clean house while small children still live there. I got some wonderful feedback that made me happy and it encouraged me to write again! Thanks guys!

Through Pinterest I have found many charts for age appropriate chores for children. I looked at my favorites and put together something that works best for us.  My schedule is written on a piece of paper (how boring!) that will hang on the refrigerator so I see it multiple times a day. 

The chores are simple. Make the beds. Pick up the dirty clothes. Pick up the toys. Zoe has a little more work like putting the silverware away, helping feed the animals, and cleaning her own room since she is the oldest. 

Every day I hear the same excuses. 

I have to go to the bathroom!

My finger hurts really bad. 

I just need to dance to this song real quick...

Will you read me a story?

Practice makes perfect.  Even though it takes a whole hour for the kids to make their beds and pick up the laundry, one day it will take them 45 minutes.  Half an hour.  15 minutes.

For more experienced moms, how did you encourage your toddlers to do their chores?  Is there anything that makes the job a little more fun?  I would love to hear some feedback!

When the kids and I came home from church last night, she asked me what I was going to do once everyone went to bed.  I casually said I would probably fold the clothes on the couch.  She said, "If I was a mommy and I had to fold clothes at night, I would be so bored I would just fall asleep!"  I laughed so hard because that has happened!  Please tell me I'm not the only one who has done that!

Being a mom is so much fun!

Throw in the Towel

Things were off to a good start this morning.  I got up and made delicious omelets for the kids with sauteed vegetables and shredded cheese.  The kids loved their breakfast and it was easy to make!  I even made one for me to eat while I made my daily quad shot white chocolate caramel latte.  I read the kids their devotions.  We prayed for the day.  I told the kids to start on their chores while I tried to catch up on my own devotions.

That's when everything fell apart.

The kids were not motivated to do their chores.  While my back was turned the house looked even worse!  The junk had babies of their own and multiplied.  There was trash, clothes, shoes, toys, DVDs, food -- you name it -- all over the place.  I didn't know where to start!  The bummer thing was I couldn't start, because if I didn't pay the bills RIGHT THEN I knew I was going to forget (because that has happened) and then be late and I can't afford that.

Your children while they clean their room:

1% cleaning

30% complaining

69% playing with stuff they just found 

I know I'm not the only mom who shut their eyes so tight and tried to keep the tears from welling up and spilling over.  

I'm not the only mom to feel overwhelmed and want to throw in the towel when it comes to cleaning with small children.

I'm not the only wife and mom who has felt shame wash over them when people stop by unexpectedly and they see your house how it normally looks 98% of the time.

Then a little person wraps his pudgy little arms around my leg and kisses me while saying I am beautiful and I feel a little bit better.

I do the best I can with the house until the kids go to bed.  Then I get the living room clean, maybe run the dishwasher, fold a load of laundry and then fall into bed and read until I can't keep my eyes open anymore.  I promise myself that I will try harder tomorrow.  

I can only do the best I can.  Some days most days my house is going to be a wreck.  I will still have my emotional days, my overwhelmed moments, my feelings of embarrassment when it comes to my home.  But I'm trying.  Raising children is hard work and I can only do the best I can and be happy with that.

While I type I have four little heads in my way watching me type.  They're hoping I will tell them a story about princesses, superheroes, dinosaurs, and monsters, and houses, and kids, and pillow men.  Their words!  They don't care about the mess.  They would rather live this way because it's too much work to put away toys.  But one day they will grow up. I can expect them to do more chores than just making their beds, picking up dirty clothes and toys, and putting dishes in the sink.

One day my life will get a little bit easier.  But that means my kids have to grow up.  I may have a clean house because my kids are older, but that means they're not small enough to climb into my lap and ask me to tell them a made up story.

And so...  I take a deep breath in... I slowly let the air out of my lungs... and I get back to work.  And I won't feel bad when I get interrupted by pudgy arms wrapping around my leg.

Goodnight, beautiful moms.

Sweet Sleep

It's 9:00 pm and the house is quiet. 

All the lights are off. Everyone is nestled in their beds sleeping soundly. Except for me. 

I lay in bed with multiple pillows tucked under my head so I'm sitting up, my reading glasses are on, and my iPad is just bright enough to not bug my husband . . . too much. 

As soon as my alarm goes off in the morning I'm thinking about when I will be able to sleep next. 

Do I have time for an afternoon nap? Maybe I can get the kids to bed early tonight so I can go to bed. 

But it never fails. Once I hug and kiss the last kid and turn all the lights off . . . my mind decides to wake up! I can't fall asleep because I'm thinking and planning and writing to do lists and even writing in my journal to get feelings off my chest and I want to watch one more episode of House Hunters and maybe, just maybe, I will indulge and snack on something and drink my sweet tea in peace -- or iced coffee which is the coffee I started in the morning but finally gave up on finishing it because I was constantly interrupted. 

Not that this ever happens. :-) 

I search Pinterest for ideas on how to decorate my home for the holidays, my next meal for my family, maybe some DIY projects. I write down things I want to do, buy, make, etc. Then I look up organizing tips because I need help. Again, I write down things to help me stay organized. I look up party ideas as I daydream about throwing fun get togethers "just because" and inviting people over so they can ooh and ahh over all the little details I put together to make the party perfect.  I write down a list of holidays I can have people over for. Then I lay there thinking about how I left the house in disarray. I'm too tired to get up and clean, but now I can't sleep thinking about the messy state in which my house is in. I write down a detailed to do list of what I want to get done around the house the next morning. 

After writing multiple lists I lay there starting to feel tired. I feel like I have done the trick and I can finally go to sleep. Sure it's after midnight, but I was able to help myself get groggy. Hmm . . .

Finally, I lay my head down and whisper my prayers to Jesus. I thank Him for the day He has given me. I thank Him for my husband, my children, my family, my friends. I thank Him for our health and safety. I thank Him for the tiny, messy home I live in. And then I pray that He will help me to work harder next time. Help me have more motivation to get things done. And I also pray that my husband and children will always love and appreciate me. 

And then . . . my body relaxes. I feel Mr. Sandman bring me a dream. 

Two hours later I'm awakened by Phebe who is hungry and someone has to go potty. Oh well. 

There Will Be Blood

My children are early risers. They love to wake up before the sun and, well, wreak havoc.

My boys wake up anywhere from 6:45 - 7:00 a.m. They take this quiet time before the rest of the house is awake to eat a whole box of cereal or a whole loaf of bread. An early morning snack before breakfast, of course. 

I dread mornings. 

A few days ago my daughter came into my room and said, "Mom, the boys have blood all over their face." I jumped out of bed to find my boys playing in the living room, in the dark, with what appeared to be blood all over their face and arms.

I'm not going to lie to you. I was freaking out inside. I checked their bodies for gashes or something, all the while asking the boys what happened. Did they get in a fight? What in the world?!

It wasn't long before I decided to check their bedroom. Once I turned on the light I felt like I walked into a horror film. There was "blood" everywhere. Handprints all over the bedding, the walls -- there were even bloody handprints leading up to their window so I'm assuming they were hoping to flee the crime scene that way. 

Then I found it. 

The answer to all of my questions sat right in the middle of the floor. 

An empty jar of strawberry jam. 

One of these days, when my boys are older, they are going to pay for this. How, you may ask? 

I'm not sure yet. But I have this picture to remind me of all the craziness they put me through so I will never forget! 

The Minor Details

I was cleaning my kitchen for the two thousand five hundredth time today when I noticed that the legs of my table were looking pretty gross. While I was spraying down these legs and washing them I couldn't help but wonder if anyone would notice. When my husband gets home at 2:00 in the morning from work, do you think he will look at our kitchen table and think, Oh, Grace cleaned the legs of the table. Nice! Trust me. He won't. Even if it was 2:00 in the afternoon he wouldn't notice! And you know what?

That's ok. 

Lately I have found myself griping and complaining under my breath while I go about doing my daily chores. I have been throwing the biggest pity party ever -- I will never have a clean house, why did my son wait to poop after I changed him, I'm so sick of picking up shoes and socks that are just sitting in the middle of the room -- you get the idea. 

And then God spoke to me. 

He said, Whatsoever ye do, do all to the glory of God. (1 Corinthians 10:31 KJV)

I repeat this verse to myself over and over again throughout the day and it gives me such peace.

I still have laundry to do every single day, the kids seem to think they need to eat breakfast every morning, and there's always, always, always dirty dishes . . . but the way I handle the situations I am faced is changing. 

People may not notice the minor details that we put so much effort into, but God sees everything, and He appreciates all the work we do -- both big and small! 

Moldy Pizza

My house always smells. If it's not from a poopy diaper it's from food that has been buried like secret treasure by my three little pirates for me to try to find without a map to guide me. 

I normally have a candle lit and my house is filled with scents that make people wonder if I went on a baking spree. I'm sure they would rather smell pumpkin lattes, apple ciders, or blueberry cobblers instead of, well, you know . . .

So the other day I was serving peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for lunch, when I noticed something fuzzy poking out from under my son's highchair table top. You see, this highchair is a deluxe model that comes with cup holders. Some may think that's cool -- I think it's a pain! I am constantly finding something new in there . . . Anyways, I saw something fuzzy creeping out of the cup holder, and for once in my life I was hoping it was a fuzzy spider or something other than fuzzy, moldy, stinky food. 

I slowly opened the cup holder, and what did I find - moldy pizza. A slice of Red Baron's supreme pizza to be exact. 

Ah, motherhood!

When I was a teenager and daydreaming about being a mom, I imagined myself taking my kids to parks, going on picnics, enjoying dinners around the table. I imagined my life would be perfect like the families you see in movies or in Norman Rockwell pictures. I never once imagined I would be pooped on, puked on, or find moldy food on a daily basis. 

Life is stressful. Being a mom can make one feel like they are losing their mind! I know I'm not the only one who has felt overwhelmed and sleep deprived. But I wouldn't change it for the world! I do not want to live life without my children climbing all over me like I am a jungle gym. 

Some days, like yesterday, I complain to my husband and ask what I'm doing wrong. Why don't they listen? Am I invisible? Do they even like me? He needs to call the "waa-mbulence" already!

When I opened the cup holder and was greeted by that horrid piece of pizza, I just stood there. I asked myself this:

You have two choices. You can get mad and blow your top . . . or you can smile, shake your head, and think about the day you will miss finding such surprises.

One day all four of my kids will grow up and move away from home. I will not have rotting food hiding around the house waiting to surprise me. I won't have the smudges on my windows from dirty hands waiting for their Daddy to get home from work. I won't have toys on the floor for me to step on in the middle of the night when I'm checking on my babies. One day my house will be quiet. I have a feeling I won't look forward to that quiet like I think I do now.

So how did I handle the moldy pizza? I shook my head and smiled while I put gloves and goggles on to remove the hazardous food. My kids are crazy. I'm crazy! I'm crazy-happy.

Parents' Challenge: Day Two

Invite your children to cook with you.  Sharing the meal prep is a great bonding opportunity as long as you keep it fun.

I had big plans of making BBQ chicken with some fun side dish that the kids could help me with, but by the time Paul got out of class he was in the mood to go fishing.  So...I threw a couple frozen pizzas in the oven and did not complete my challenge.  I did a big no-no and set up my laptop on the table so the kids and I could watch Netflix while we ate.

We ate our fill of cheese pizza and chocolate chip cookies, then I gave my dirty little ones a bath with a couple drops of lavender oil.  Zoe couldn't stop talking about how amazing the bubbles smelled!  She had no idea those amazing smelling bubbles were secretly relaxing her body and getting her ready to fall into a nice, deep slumber.

After the kids were bathed we watched a movie about lions until the clock struck 9:00 and we had our prayers, I tucked all four little ones into bed, and I did not hear one peep!  Wow!  What a lucky mom I was!

For the first time in forever (admit it, the song from Frozen is now stuck in your head!) I had a chance to read some of my book and a magazine!  I even entered a half a dozen drawings to win things for my home from Better Homes & Gardens!  I would say my evening alone was pretty eventful.

But no worries!  Today is a new day and I will let the kids help me with something...  Whether we make peanut butter and jelly sandwiches or pigs in a blanket, these kids are making something with me in the kitchen!

Today's challenge is to read a joke book together.  I don't think I have any joke books, plus my kids are still too young to understand them.  Trust me, I've tried telling jokes and they give me looks that make me feel more stupid than silly.  If I get a laugh out of them it's more of a courtesy laugh that, again, makes me feel more stupid than silly.  Maybe we will just read a Dr. Seuss book (he's funny, right?) and I will make the voices sound funny.  Close enough. :-)  I'm still spending time with my kids!

It's not too late to start your own Parents' Challenge!  Jump in any time if you're brave enough to work on your parenting skills! :-)  Some of these challenges will be hard for some while others think they're no big deal, but the bottom line is that you're wanting to improve your relationship with your children.  God has given you these little blessings for a reason!  Please don't waste your time being stressed out and too busy. 

Parents' Challenge: Day One

Go the entire day without raising your voice.

Did anyone else attempt the Parents' Challenge yesterday?  I hope so!  I have to warn you, though, that when you say you're going to take the challenge...your children will become a little more challenging.  Yesterday I dealt with more temper tantrums, pouting, screaming, hitting, kicking, than I do on average.  But did I raise my voice?  I tried not to. :-)  Around 9:00 pm I may have slipped up once or twice, but at least I'm making the effort.

Today's challenge is to invite my children to cook with me.  This one shouldn't be too hard.  They have helped me in the past with certain things.  They love to help me make pigs in a blanket!  Do you let your kids help you make meals?  Is it hard to have patience, or do you enjoy the extra time help it takes do to certain things? :-)

Parents' Challenge

I found this challenge over the weekend and was excited to start today.  Parenting is not for the weak.  When I feel overwhelmed because I can't keep up with the laundry, the dirty dishes, the diapers that need changed, the meals that need prepared, the yard that looks like a jungle...I realize that I spent the whole day forgetting about the little things that matter the most.

Every morning there are four happy, smiling faces that greet me before my morning coffee.  The pretend games are played all day long.  I need to sit and watch more than I do.

I am surrounded by superheroes and Barbies that are damsels in distress.

I live in a castle with princes and princesses that love to slay dragons and dance to music.

My couch is a pirate ship and the pirates take turns walking off the plank into crocodile infested waters.

My table is a tent where my children go camping and tell funny stories.

My tub is an aquarium where I watch my slippery, giggling "fish" who love to splash.

Why do I allow myself to stress?  There is no need for me to be.  I need to slow down and enjoy the life that I live right now in this moment.  These beautiful, happy children will leave the nest and I don't want to look back and realize I wasted my time trying to do other things that seemed more important at the time.

I decided to start today and I read Day One.  Go the entire day without raising your voice.  In less than half an hour since reading the challenge...I was challenged.  One of my children spilled a whole bowl of milk and cereal all over the table, the chairs, and the floor.

My son was afraid.  I could see it in his face.  He was waiting for me to yell and be upset with him.  Instead I kept my voice level and told him he needed to be careful while I cleaned up the mess.  I felt so much better than how I feel after I yell and get upset.  I looked at my son, and the look of relief on his face spoke volumes.

Why do we yell?  What's the point?

I can already tell that this challenge is not going to be easy, but I'm excited to make a lifestyle change now while my children are still young!  I still have a chance that most of their memories of mommy will be pleasant ones.

I encourage all parents to take this challenge.  We all have room for improvement in our relationships.  Our relationship with our children is not any different.  These little ones are our future.  Let's raise them right!

Poppies, Sunflowers, and Daisies too!

Target is one of my favorite places to go while I'm in Great Falls.  Their $1 section is amazing and I end up filling my basket with the goodies from there before I even have a chance to walk through the rest of the store!  I found poppies, sunflowers, and daisies that you could grow in these adorable little pots and just had to buy them for the kids!

The kids had a great time planting the little seeds in these little pots and then placing them on the window sill.  We have to look at them everyday to see if there are any flowers yet. :-)  They don't know this yet, but I peaked at them last night (I'm excited too!) and saw some of the little plants are trying to poke out!  They are going to be so excited to see some progress.

Just yesterday I read a devotion and it had a story about a man looking for flowers for spring planting.  While at the greenhouse he came across a beautiful golden chrysanthemum that was hidden in a corner growing in an old, dented rusty bucket.  In his mind, he thought that if that was his flower he would place it in a beautiful pot and display it proudly.  Why was this beautiful flower confined in this old bucket and hidden away in this concealed place?

When he remarked to the owner about the flower, she explained, "Oh, I started the plant in the old bucket until it blossomed.  But it's just for a short time.  Soon I'll transplant it to my garden."

The man laughed and imagined such a scene in Heaven.  "There's a beautiful one," God will say, "the product of My loving kindness and grace.  Now it's confined in a broken body and in obscurity, but soon, in My garden, how tall and lovely this soul will stand!"

I thought it was a beautiful devotion!  I know I will think about it every time I see these adorable little pots and the flowers that will soon grow.

Phebe Eloise

On May 20th I was big and pregnant.  My body was starting to hurt whether I stood, sat down, laid down...I was just getting miserable.  I was ready to have the baby!  I had been praying every single day that God would help me to have the baby -- SOON.  I was so ready.

I had my weekly doctor's appointment scheduled for the next day, but I was going to call and ask if there were any cancellations because I just wanted to go in, have my doctor strip my membranes, and pray it would do something for me.  I had been dilated to 4 cm and my cervix was open and ready for weeks -- just no Phebe.

I just finished taking a shower when my phone rang.  The nurse asked if I could come in that afternoon instead of waiting till the next day.  YES!  My mom and sister came with me to the appointment.  My doctor swept my membranes (there were only 2 that she swiped...hardly anything was holding Phebe up anymore at that point) and then talked to me for a little bit.  She was even shocked I was still pregnant at that point.

She did tell me, though, that she was leaving for the weekend and wouldn't be back till Tuesday.  If I wanted her to deliver the baby before she left, I would have to schedule an induction for the next morning at 6:00 a.m.  I was so disappointed.  This whole pregnancy I prayed and asked God to allow me to go into labor on my own.  I had never experienced it and I really wanted to know what it felt like since this would be my last pregnancy.  I went ahead and scheduled my induction and felt discouraged.

After my appointment we went to Walmart to get some last minute items.  While walking around I did feel like my insides were going to fall out of my body, but no contractions quite yet.  We went home and had dinner with the whole family.  Around 8:30 p.m. I started feeling some contractions.  Nothing consistent, just here and there.  I decided to go on another walk hoping to cause more, but as soon as we went walking I felt like things stopped.  I was pretty irritable at that point.  I was not going to get what I wanted.  I felt like giving up.

I ended up going to bed.  I figured I might as well try and rest some before waking up so early.  Paul knew how discouraged I was, so he decided to help me take my mind off of it...by telling me fish stories.  See, the whole time my family visited the guys went fishing every single night!  They had so much fun and had plenty of stories to tell.  It actually did help me feel a little better.

Around 2:00 a.m. I woke up because of a hard contraction.  I laid there for a little bit and ended up feeling another strong one.  I got up and went to the bathroom and tried to figure out if it was just a fluky thing...or if this was the real deal.  I went back to bed and laid there for about 30-45 minutes before I woke Paul up and said, "I think this is it."

Paul got up and woke up my parents.  I slowly got out of bed in between contractions and went to sit on the exercise ball.  It didn't take long before my contractions were 1-2 minutes apart and my dad said, "And why are we not at the hospital yet?"

Getting in the car and driving to the hospital was pretty unpleasant for me.  I was very thankful we lived at the bottom of the hill and the hospital was only a couple blocks away!  Before I knew it we were in the room and I was getting hooked up.

I don't remember what time my water actually broke, but I felt the gush and immediately wanted to cry happy tears!  In the midst of pain I remember thanking God over and over for answering my request.  It may seem silly to others, but I wanted this so bad.

I only felt gushes of water here and there with contractions.  I figured Phebe must have been cutting off the water somehow because I didn't feel the huge ocean-like gush that I was used to when they would break my water with the others.

This labor was different than my other labors.  Because I was induced with the other ones I was used to the Pitocin contractions -- extreme and on top of each other.  Going into labor naturally is so opposite of that.  There were some breaks in between contractions that I actually dozed off until the next one hit.  Because the contractions were not on top of each other like I was used to, I just knew I would be in labor all day and I did not want that.  I never wanted drugs with any of my other labors, but this time I remember telling my mom and Paul both that I needed them.  I wasn't joking.  Get me the drugs.  My mom had to tell me more than once that it was too late -- I was dilated to 8 and Phebe was coming!  I didn't comprehend what she was saying because I wasn't having as many contractions...

It wasn't long before my favorite nurse came in to do the final check and my doctor was behind her.  They knew Phebe was cutting off the rest of the water, so my doctor finished breaking the sack with her fancy little hook and I immediately felt my body start to push.  I didn't know what was going on, but I pushed 3-4 times and here came beautiful, sweet Phebe and the rest of my water following behind helping to push her out.

Phebe Eloise was born at 7:45 a.m.  She weighed 8 lbs and was 20 1/2 inches long.

I can't help but tear up when I think of the story all over again.  Giving birth is one of the most amazing things I have every experienced -- and the fact that I was able to do it on my own without being induced...I cannot even begin to tell you how grateful I feel.  I will always be thankful for the Lord answering my prayer.  

Not long after Phebe was born people realized just how tired they were so one by one they left to go back to bed.  Paul and I crashed as well and slept for hours.  My other babies were not able to meet their new sister as soon as she was born because there was a ban at the hospital and no one under the age of 18 was allowed in the maternity section.  After everyone got some rest, though, we did sneak out of the maternity ward and down the hall so our little ones could say hello.  Thanks to my favorite nurse who will remain unnamed. :-)

Phebe is now 12 days old and is still adored by all.  She is the easiest baby...  She gets mauled all the time by her siblings showering her with sloppy, wet kisses and big, bear hugs.  She doesn't mind. :-)  She is so beautiful...  I look forward to the day when she is older and she wears matching outfits with Zoe -- but until that day comes, I will enjoy each and everyday I have left with a newborn in the house.  It's bittersweet to think about her being our last baby!

Mother's Day

I was surprised when I woke up and realized I was allowed to sleep in till 9:00 a.m.  I would have slept longer, but Titus came into my room with a little Mother's Day present -- an empty salt shaker.

"What are you doing, Titus?" I asked.  He jabbered something in response.  "Where is all the salt?" was my second question.  Titus raised his pudgy little hands in the air and said, "I dunno!"

I walked into the kitchen and found a winter wonderland.  At least that's what my floor looked like covered in salt. 

Happy Mother's Day to me!

There were moments throughout the day that could have been stressful for me, but I just reflected on my life, my children, and the near future.  Some days I am overwhelmed with joy when I think about the fact that I will soon be a mom to 4 kids -- and they're the most beautiful, happy, healthy, funniest, sweetest kids I know!  What a blessing and honor. 

I am getting ahead of myself a little bit, though.  I need to talk about the rest of my day! 

I enjoyed being lazy on Sunday morning.  When it came time to get ready for church, I took an uninterrupted shower -- no kids playing peek-a-boo with the curtain, no one needed to go potty, and no one was climbing on the toilet trying to brush their teeth with the soap.  That's a gift right there in itself. :-)

I really, really enjoyed service yesterday.  I taught the teen Sunday school class and we had a lot of fun going over our lesson and doing a craft for our moms.  All the kids were up in song service, and though Max cried through the whole thing, I still felt the spirit of The Lord and was blessed by Him!  I'm so thankful for that.  I just love being able to worship! 

Pastor Kirby had a great sermon on moms and all that they do.  I was really proud of myself for "keeping it together" and thought this just might be my first Mother's Day ever where I would not be a blubbering mess. 

Noelle got up for her Mother's Day presentation and I almost immediately started crying. :-)  I am so overwhelmed with love when I think about my own mother and everything she has done for my brothers and sisters and I -- and what she continues to do for us!  Not only does she do so much for us, but she does all that she can for anyone and everyone who comes into her home.  There is no doubt my mom loves The Lord with all of her heart.  She's spunky -- and maybe even a little feisty -- but she's also so tender hearted.  She is the greatest role model of a hard working, selfless, stand-up-for-what-you-believe-in kind of woman.  So yes, when it came time to express how I felt about my mother, I couldn't help but shed a few (hundred) tears. :-)

I lost it a second time when my husband surprised me by expressing how he feels about me being the mother of his children.  I was crying...he was crying...we both were pretty sappy. :-)  I enjoyed the moment!

After service we all got ready for our family dinner.  All 3 kids were tired and grumpy, and again, I could have been stressed...but I decided that was the perfect opportunity to take a picture with my kids because this is what being a mom is all about, right?  I chose to enjoy the moment of chaos instead of cry (again) with them.

My kids, with the help of their Dad, made the most beautiful present I have ever received!  I cannot show you yet, though, because they also made one for my mom and she won't get to see hers till tomorrow when she, my Dad, and my brother will be here for the arrival of Miss Phebe!  I will do my best to remember to show you later this week.  I am so proud of my little family and their creativity!

Dinner was absolutely amazing!  Every dish was absolutely delicious and I was bummed when I started to feel full because I loved indulging on such yummy food. :-)  After dinner my husband scored some major brownie points by jumping in and cleaning the kitchen -- he even swept the floor when he was finished.  I'm not gonna lie, I thought he looked extra attractive in there. :-)  Paul is so amazing and thoughtful.  I am so blessed to have him as my husband!

The men watched Ninja Turtles in the living room while us ladies enjoyed a few rounds of Boggle at the table.  I lost horribly that night, but it was still a lot of fun and I always enjoy playing with the girls!

By bed time we all were wiped out by our busy day.  I laid there and thanked God for my family.  I am so blessed!

It is now Monday which means back to work.  The house needs picked up, the clothes and dishes need to be washed, and errands need to be ran.  I look forward to the job, though, because I know that everything I do is appreciated.  I like being appreciated.

Motherhood

This is exactly how I feel tonight! I hate that. I don't like putting the kids to bed and feeling like a failure. I'm praying for a better day tomorrow with my three little blessings.

I shared this picture on Facebook with the caption below.  The kids woke up from their naps and were in such foul moods.  I could not do anything to make them happy.  Paul got off work and found me tear stained because I felt like a total failure as a mom.  The night ended with me yelling and losing my temper because I was over the whining, screaming, crying, etc.

By the time all the kids were in bed I was so disappointed in myself and ended up crying (again) thinking about how I handled everything during the day.

Weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning. (Psalm 30:5b)

It is of the Lord's mercies that we are not consumed, because his compassions fail not.  They are new every morning: great is thy faithfulness.  The Lord is my portion, saith my soul; therefore will I hope in him. (Lamentations 3:22-24)

All parents have their moments where they feel like failures, but the important thing to remember is...now what?  Do you give up and just accept that you're a horrible parent, or do you ask God to help you try harder the next day?

Today I keep reminding myself of the promises God has given me in His Word whenever one of the kids act up and I feel myself get irritated.  I'm so thankful for new days to try harder!  Aren't you?

Death comes unexpectedly

On Thursday Zoe asked me for the millionth time where Fif (her fish) was.  I was hoping she had forgot about it and I wouldn't have to tell her what really happened, but this time when she asked I knew I had to just tell her the truth.

I nicely said that Fif died and went to fish heaven.  She looked so shocked and immediately sobbed and sobbed.  Her tiny little heart broke in two right in front of my eyes and I couldn't handle it.

I held my daughter as she cried and cried over a silly fish.  Trying explain this part of life to my daughter is the hardest thing I have done so far when it comes to parenting.  There was nothing I could say...I just held my baby girl.

When she calmed down some she said she wanted to call her dad.  We got to FaceTime him and she again cried as she told her daddy about her loss.  To make her feel better Paul asked her how she felt about going to the pet store and buying a new fish.  Immediately Zoe said, "Why? So another one can die?"  I didn't know if there was anything that would make her feel better at this point.  But the more she thought about it, the more she warmed up to the idea.

On Friday Paul got off work early and we all went to the pet store as a family.  The kids loved seeing all the fish, turtles, birds, etc.  Zoe and Max finally decided on a pretty blue Betta fish.  After much thought, and persuading Zoe that naming her fish after fruits or herself was not a good idea, Zoe decided to name her new fish Mr. Blue.  I think we all can handle that name.

Now Mr. Blue lives on the kitchen table where we all can see him and enjoy his beauty!

I wish this would be the only time I had to deal with this part of parenting, but I know this is only the beginning.  God help us to know what we're doing!

One of those days

7:45 a.m.
I rolled my very pregnant self out of bed and headed straight to the bathroom.
I cracked 10 eggs into a bowl with some milk, shredded cheese, and salt and pepper and got them ready for scrambling.
I turned on my trusty Keurig.

8:00 a.m.
Breakfast is served.  The kids don't want toast with their eggs.
I forget about my coffee and grab it.
I sit down with my toast.  The kids want toast.

9:00 a.m.
I try to exercise with my DVD.  Both of the boys tried riding on my legs.  I lasted 10 minutes.
I took a shower to cool off from my "workout" just to hear Zoe yelling that the boys are eating chocolate.
I finish up my shower and run to grab my husband's half-eaten box of chocolates from the boys and put them on the table.
I clean the boys up and change their clothes.
I get dressed.
I come out to find the boys on the table eating more chocolate.
I discipline the kids and clean them up again.

10:00 a.m.
I start to deep clean my room.
I throw all the dirty clothes into a pile, throw trash away, etc.
The kids decide to "help."
Zoe has to go to the bathroom so I tell her to go before she wets her pants.
She wet her pants.
I discipline my daughter and clean up the mess.
I then realize the rest of my house is a mess because I'm trying to clean my room.

11:00 a.m.
It's a little early, but I'm desperate.  I make lunch.
The kids eat while running around the table and hiding from each other.
As soon as the kids finish they are sent to bed for an afternoon nap.
I go to get a drink and relax for a little bit.
No water.  No sweet tea.  No coke.
I sit down anyways.

2:30 p.m.
The kids wake up.
I hear the boys jumping on the bed and screaming.
I feel my chest tighten as I realize I have to go to the grocery store with these hooligans.

Happy Tuesday!

Valentine's Day

Ah, Valentine's Day!  It is one of the more popular holidays for many, many reasons.  Some people love it, and some people hate it.  Each stage in life brings different emotions to the holiday.  For example:

You have the grade school kids who either buy or make enough valentines for their classmates and/or friends.  Let's be honest, they have their moms make the cards.  They enjoy getting the cards with the lame - I mean, witty rhymes on them and they even get to enjoy treats such as conversation hearts, chocolates, maybe even sugar cookies and brownies with pink frosting.  It's a fun, sugar-filled day for a kid! 

You have the teenagers who have boyfriends and girlfriends now so Valentine's Day is even more fun.  You get romantic cards, a box of chocolates, maybe even a stuffed animal and/or flowers.  Young love is always fun and exciting!  Who doesn't love the warm, fuzzy feeling you get from this special day?

It doesn't take long for those teenagers - or even young adults - to realize, though, that sometimes boyfriends and girlfriends come and go, and sometimes Valentine's Day will find you single.  Single.  Something you do not want to be on this day because it will literally rub it in your face that you are alone and miserable.  You make a point to complain about the day weeks ahead of time so everyone know your life stinks. You purposely wear black - the color of death - to show how much you hate this time of year.  You buy the biggest box of chocolates for yourself and sit in a dark room watching sappy chick flicks all by yourself.  Don't forget your box of tissues! 

Next you have engaged/newly married couples . The warm, fuzzy feelings are back because you finally found the one you will spend the rest of your life with!  Every Valentine's Day will be spent with him/her waking you up to flowers, chocolates, a card and the day will be spent doing romantic things because you both take the day off just to show your love.  Right?  Maybe in the beginning...

Then comes my stage in life. 

Married.  With kids. 

You buy the lame - I mean, witty cards for your kids now.  You decorate your windows with pink and red hearts that are decorated by your little ones.  Your house explodes with slivers of construction paper and glitter that you will find months later - you may find remains up until the next Valentine's Day!

You buy a little box of chocolates not only for your significant other, but little boxes of chocolates for your sons and daughters.

Your husband or wife still go to work - they can't take the day off because there are too many mouths to feed and bills to pay - but when they walk through the door at the end of the day they will have something special for you.

Some Valentine's Days you will get to dress up and go out on a date kid-free, and other Valentine's Days you dine in and celebrate the love that brought you those beautiful, chaotic children. 

I don't know about you, but I love Valentine's Day and the stage of life I am in. I hope you enjoy what Valentine's Day brings you too. 

I am the best

Am I the only mother that scrolls through Facebook, Instagram, Pinterest and sometimes feel a little lazy? 

It seems like motherhood has become a competition. I'm sure it has always been this way, we just see more of it thanks to the above sites that we all know and love - or love to hate.

There are so many types of moms in this world:

You have moms who have their babies in hospitals and you have moms who choose home births. You also have moms who choose the drugs or choose to do it natural.

You have moms who choose to breast feed and you have moms who choose formula.

You have moms who go above and beyond to prove their 6 month old can says words/sentences, sing the alphabet, and count to three. Obviously their kids are better than yours. 

You have moms who roll their eyes at the other moms and continue to play peek-a-boo and "This little piggy goes to the market" with pudgy little toes and not worry about the fact that their 6 month olds are not as "advanced."

There are stay at home moms and working moms. I could probably write a whole post just on this! Both moms think their job is harder than the other and you almost feel like a majority of the motherhood population enjoy the role of being a martyr when you hear how hard their life is and so-and-so doesn't even realize how good she has it.  Woe is me.

Not trying to step on any toes...just an observance. 

You have moms who put their kids in public school and you have moms who homeschool. 

You have moms who choose to immunize their children and moms who choose not to. 

You have moms who are health nuts and you have moms who don't really care if their kids have soda before age 5. 

You have moms who spank and moms who think that is abuse. 

I could go on and on, but I think you get the point. 

So who who is the best mom? 

Does it really matter? 

Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies. The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil. She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life. She seeketh wool, and flax, and worketh willingly with her hands. She is like the merchants' ships; she bringeth her food from afar. She riseth also while it is yet night, and giveth meat to her household, and a portion to her maidens. She considereth a field, and buyeth it: with the fruit of her hands she planteth a vineyard. She girdeth her loins with strength, and strengtheneth her arms. She perceiveth that her merchandise is good: her candle goeth not out by night. She layeth her hands to the spindle, and her hands hold the distaff. She stretcheth out her hand to the poor; yea, she reacheth forth her hands to the needy. She is not afraid of the snow for her household: for all her household are clothed with scarlet. She maketh herself coverings of tapestry; her clothing is silk and purple. Her husband is known in the gates, when he sitteth among the elders of the land. She maketh fine linen, and selleth it; and delivereth girdles unto the merchant. Strength and honour are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come. She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness. She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness. Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her. Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all. Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised. Give her of the fruit of her hands; and let her own works praise her in the gates. Proverbs 31:10-31

Strive to be the best you can be. Love and enjoy your husband, your children, your home. Enjoy the short amount of days you have on this earth with the your loved ones. 

We all have different stories.

We all married different people and our children all develop at different stages.

We all have houses to clean and dinner to prepare.

I am not better than you, and you're not better than me.

We are all moms who are doing our best to raise great kids - and that's all that matters.

Stop looking down your nose at other moms and their choices they make.  Put that time and energy looking at yourself and making sure you are being the best wife and mother you can be to your family.

If you are striving to do your best then don't worry about the rest!

Four under 4

This May Paul and I will be having our fourth child before our oldest child turns 4 years old.  Does this stress us out?  Not really.  Does it stress other people out?  Apparently yes. 

Last year before our youngest son turned 1 we got the surprise of a positive pregnancy test.  It took us over a month before we made it public mostly (for me) so I could enjoy the thought of having another baby without hearing the comments. 

It wasn't long after people found out before we were hearing that we were being talked about:

"How is Grace going to manage?"

"Poor Grace...how is she going to function with four babies?"

"How's the 'birth control' working for you?"

We live in a day and age where I feel like children are not seen as a blessing from God but rather a punishment from Him.  That's not the case at all. 

Lo, children are an heritage of the LORD: and the fruit of the womb is his reward. Psalm 127:3 

When Paul and I were newlyweds we had our life all planned out and we thought our plan would make us happy.  The opposite of nearly everything we had on our list happened.  

We ended up having not one, but two kids while Paul was in college.  Studying was a lot of fun in our house!  
We outgrew our apartment and bought our first house -- which we have outgrown again.  

We thought we were taking a break to enjoy our two kids...that didn't happen.  

Every year we promise to buy a dishwasher and every year something comes up -- this year it was a broken arm.  

Money is tight when birthdays come along so we decorate using construction paper, balloons, and tissue paper.  Thank you Pinterest!  

Paul and I were planning a romantic trip to Cancun for our anniversary this year...I got pregnant. So we will be enjoying our anniversary at home with steaks and mushrooms by candlelight. Or maybe a pizza. 

Every night I go into my son's room and reassure him that the shadows are not monsters and that Jesus is the ultimate superhero.  Sometimes I have to reassure him a few times before he calms down and goes back to sleep.

The kids wake up early demanding cereal, gum, candy, or SuperWhy every morning before I am even out of bed.  Or have had my coffee.

My husband runs out of clothes every single week.

Even though our life hasn't gone according to plan, Paul and I could not be happier!  Zoe, Max, and Titus give us pure joy.  Sometimes we sit in the car while all three are dancing to the music and we get overwhelmed...we have such beautiful, happy, healthy children.  Wow.  It's amazing.

Things don't work out the way we want them to and life is stressful, but at the end of the day...it's all about family.  Cake Boss knows what he's talking about! 

This lifestyle may not be for you, and if you couldn't handle it, then thank God He hasn't given you more than you can handle.  I know it is not for everyone.  But don't feel sorry for me.  Be happy with me while I bask in the blessings that God has given me!

Oh, and by the way...baby #4 is a girl!