That's when everything fell apart.
The kids were not motivated to do their chores. While my back was turned the house looked even worse! The junk had babies of their own and multiplied. There was trash, clothes, shoes, toys, DVDs, food -- you name it -- all over the place. I didn't know where to start! The bummer thing was I couldn't start, because if I didn't pay the bills RIGHT THEN I knew I was going to forget (because that has happened) and then be late and I can't afford that.
Your children while they clean their room:
69% playing with stuff they just found
I know I'm not the only mom who shut their eyes so tight and tried to keep the tears from welling up and spilling over.
I'm not the only mom to feel overwhelmed and want to throw in the towel when it comes to cleaning with small children.
I'm not the only wife and mom who has felt shame wash over them when people stop by unexpectedly and they see your house how it normally looks 98% of the time.
Then a little person wraps his pudgy little arms around my leg and kisses me while saying I am beautiful and I feel a little bit better.
I do the best I can with the house until the kids go to bed. Then I get the living room clean, maybe run the dishwasher, fold a load of laundry and then fall into bed and read until I can't keep my eyes open anymore. I promise myself that I will try harder tomorrow.
I can only do the best I can. Some days
most days my house is going to be a wreck. I will still have my emotional days, my overwhelmed moments, my feelings of embarrassment when it comes to my home. But I'm trying. Raising children is hard work and I can only do the best I can and be happy with that.
While I type I have four little heads in my way watching me type. They're hoping I will tell them a story about princesses, superheroes, dinosaurs, and monsters, and houses, and kids, and pillow men. Their words! They don't care about the mess. They would rather live this way because it's too much work to put away toys. But one day they will grow up. I can expect them to do more chores than just making their beds, picking up dirty clothes and toys, and putting dishes in the sink.
One day my life will get a little bit easier. But that means my kids have to grow up. I may have a clean house because my kids are older, but that means they're not small enough to climb into my lap and ask me to tell them a made up story.
And so... I take a deep breath in... I slowly let the air out of my lungs... and I get back to work. And I won't feel bad when I get interrupted by pudgy arms wrapping around my leg.
Goodnight, beautiful moms.