We were married about 7 months when we moved to Havre for Paul to go to college for Graphic Design. I have kept busy with jobs, eventually kids, and plenty of housework. I never let it bother me that he was never around because I knew that he would be done before I knew it and things would be different.
These past couple weeks have been the hardest weeks of my married life, though. I know I'm pregnant and that doesn't help, but I'm emotional, irritable, lonely, anxious.. I told my Mom that I just go around with a Garfield attitude -- grumbling about anything and everything for no reason.
My days are not any different than before. I still take care of the kids, do my best to keep up with the house, work, run errands outside of the home such as going to the bank, grocery shopping, etc. The weather actually has been getting nicer so I have been taking the kids outside and playing which is nice.
Paul stays at the college after class working on projects or studying with fellow classmates and won't be home till after 10:00 -- sometimes even close to midnight. I have tucked the kids in for the night (alone), I have tidied the house, and I work.. out of boredom.
I don't resent Paul for not being home. I never have. I am so thankful that he is such a hard worker and that he is doing his absolute best for his family. I'm just drained. Emotional. Pregnant. I'm just ready for him to be done with school!
I know things won't be the way I want them to be. Paul will then be working full-time and he will still be gone all day. But at least I will have the evenings with him. He will be able to spend time with his babies. We will get to go out and do things together as a family.
I just want my family together, that's all. This next week and couple days can't pass by soon enough for me!
So for the crew that live here in Havre:
If I seem distant, Garfield-ish, or a little emotional.. don't worry about it. This too shall pass!
Grace, I dont know you very well. But I am always here for you! I understand what you are saying and how you are feeling. I am really a few houses down if you ever need a hour break to your self or just some one to talk to come down, or bring the kids by and they can play. Have a great day!!!
ReplyDeleteKeshia, thank you for that! I will definitely make my way down there one day. I'm hoping this summer won't be so busy so I can actually get out and do things. We shall see!
DeletePraying for you and that time will pass quickly. The last few weeks are the hardest. I was an emotional rollercoster!
ReplyDeleteThank you for the prayers! I appreciate all I can get right now. =)
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