The reason for my absence on this blog is not because Max has come.. unfortunately. He is still very much comfortable in my womb. Actually, the reason for my absence mostly is because I don't know what else to talk about since my thought process is overwhelmed with the feeling of being stretched to the max (Ha! Get it?) and wanting so much to hold a little baby again.
This morning I remembered how I felt when Paul and I were trying for a baby before we found out we were pregnant with Zoe. Every month when I would stare at only one pink line instead of two I would feel devestated! I never thought we were going to get pregnant. I finally threw my hands up in the air one day and said, "God, I give up! I am putting this in your hands and I'm not going to worry about it anymore!" The very next day I found out I was pregnant. =)
I've had that story in the back of my head for the past few weeks now, and everyday I pray and tell God that everything is in His hands when it comes to the delivery of our baby. Every morning when I wake up and haven't had this baby, though, I feel more upset and more stressed because it hasn't happened yet. Apparently not putting this in God's hands like I told Him. Oops..
Now I'm REALLY praying that God will help me to REALLY put everything into His hands and to stop fretting so much. I know every woman who has ever been pregnant knows exactly how I feel. Not because I'm expecting God to put me into labor the next day, but because my emotional state has reached an all-time low and I'm tired of feeling this way.
So here I am sitting at my table with a cup of coffee sweetened perfectly with French vanilla and I'm feeling content -- really! I'm getting ready to read my morning devotions, take a shower, and I'm going to enjoy this day God has given me. I'm just taking it one day at a time, because that's all I can do.
Happy Friday everyone!