Tuesday, February 8, 2011

The worst day of my mothering life

A couple nights ago Zoe kept us up till almost five in the morning.  She cried and cried and cried.  Paul and I both were drained and were slightly annoyed with each other by the time she finally fell asleep -- after Paul had enough and put her in her crib where she immediately passed out from pure exhaustion.

Yesterday morning I was determined to this was not going to happen again.  So I kept Zoe up as much as I could.. which she hated.  She was absolutely crazy that day.  Some moments she would smile and play with her toys, the next she would throw her toys down and scream and cry like someone was torturing her. I didn't touch her, don't worry.

I was having such a rough time!  I couldn't do anything to make my daughter happy.  So I just let her lay on her blanket and cry.. and scream.  I'm thinking Zoe is testing us to see what she can get away with.  Which is why it was such a screaming fit yesterday.

She did better last night, but she still has a way to go before we're all sleeping well again!  She only had one nap today and is doing well so far.. I'm thinking tonight we'll all get much needed rest.

It's funny, though, because last night I put on a Veggie Tales movie for Zoe and I to watch until Paul came home from work.  It was Sumo of the Opera, which talks about perseverance!  I thought it was fitting for me more than Zoe to watch for a gentle reminder.

I knew that there would be moments when being a mother would be hard.  Yesterday was my hardest day so far.  I pray that God will give me strength to do what is right for my children, the patience, and perseverance.  A year from now, or even 6 months from now, I may have a harder day that will blow this one out of the water.  I just need to take one day at a time.


  1. As I read this blog I knew exactly how you are feeling. The sleepless nights are not so easy, especially when mom and dad are exhausted too. Praying for you Grace to be able to rest and for Zoe to rest at night as well. I had many sleepless nights with Daniel, he was so sick with his asthma, unable to breath. I would hold him and pray for him all night. It will get better, sometimes you just have to take it one moment at a time. Love you Gracie!
    Aunt Marcy

  2. Hang in there. It WILL get better. I think every mom goes threw this. It is tough. Sometimes you just have to go into the other room and have a good scream and cry for yourself. And your right something else will come up. These little things are what gives you strength for the bigger things down the road. But wouldn't trade motherhood for anything in the world.


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