Saturday, October 6, 2012

The secret to a long lasting marriage is... coke, and two straws.

I feel like I tell this story over and over, but I can't help it!  This was the best marriage advice I received before marrying my best friend, and it came from the sweetest old couple I have ever met.  While the husband was telling me his "secret" his wife pat him on the shoulder and in the most loving way said, "Oh Virgil.."  I melted!

The sad thing is that it doesn't take long for the puppy love to fade and comfortable love to set in.  It's a hard transition!  I think mostly for girls -- especially sappy ones like me who still watch chick flicks and cry because the guy is SO romantic and you wonder why your husband isn't sitting next to you taking notes!

Lately it seems like all I see of Paul is the two seconds it takes to give me a quick peck before he's out the door, and then by the time he gets off work at night we're both tired, a little stressed, and the only thing we can think about is sleep.

The reason why I'm even posting about this is because of my daily marriage calender.  The marriage secret of the day is this:

As much as possible, put yourself in your mate's shoes and see things from his or her perspective.  Keep an open mind and be willing to adapt.

So it got me thinking...

Does Paul think the same about me?

When I put myself in Paul's shoes I don't like what he sees.  He gets up before the sun and works a 12 hour shift every single day (except Sunday), he comes homes to a messy unorganized house with crying kids and a wife that is stressed and not in the happiest of moods.

That's not fair to him.

No wonder puppy love fades.

Yesterday, before I even knew what today's marriage secret was going to be about, I decided to take a room at a time and thoroughly clean and organize from top to bottom.  Get rid of the junk we do not use/need and make our house a home -- a place where we don't want to leave!

I started in the living room and got A LOT done.  I will finish the last of it today and move on.  I'm bummed that it takes me a little longer these days, but I can't help that I'm ready to pop and I have two little ones that like to "help" Mommy.  With every little thing I put away -- or throw away -- I feel like a better wife!  I'm slowly making progress.

I don't ever want to be a nag of a wife that complains because my husband doesn't do this or that.  Sure there are some things he does -- or doesn't do -- that make me slightly annoyed, but I know there is plenty that I'm doing -- or more importantly NOT doing -- that annoys him too!

So I guess it's safe to say that today's marriage secret was definitely one I needed to hear!  I know plenty of others that need to hear it as well.  It's a great reminder.

And, if I want that romantic guy who sweeps the girl (and me!) off their feet in the chick flicks, maybe I need to be that girl that he WANTS to sweep off their feet.

Something to think about...


  1. Great post! I'm proud of you. We ALL need to remember these things!

  2. For me, togetherness isn’t complete without embracing each other’s differences. It’s part of the package a couple signs up for when they finally decide to tie the knot. It’s not enough that they only love each other, they also have to keep an open mind, enough to understand their partners better.

    Jim Wright @ Sherwood Couples Counseling


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