Just Another Day in Paradise. Part 2.

I have a funny story to share.  I say it's a funny story because I'm hoping I can laugh about it one day.  Just two days ago I wrote a sweet post (you can read it HERE) about motherhood and all.  I tried to be encouraging to other moms who may be struggling with happy, healthy tips to help shake of mommy blues, blah blah blah...

 

 

Then today happened.  Probably one of the worst mornings I've had in a long time -- maybe even the worst I have ever had!  Are you afraid yet?  Well, here it goes..

 

This morning the kids slept in so I had a chance to drink my coffee, read my devotions, even take a shower!  I just knew all would be well and I had a chance to have a good Monday despite having to take Max to his checkup.

 

Wrong.  Wrong.  Wrong.  Wrong.

 

Between doctor checkups, Walmart, and Max being in a mood that only Jesus and disciplining can fix, I am not listening to my own advice very well today.  I plan on taking out my frustration on the house.  Hopefully I can get some cleaning done while I relieve my stress!  Ha!  If Max (or even myself) is still in a mood then we'll take a walk.

 

Like Zoe says as she strokes my cheek, "Don't worry about it...it's gonna be fine." :-)  She is such a hoot!

Just Another Day in Paradise

It's funny, I come up with this title while one kid is tackling me from behind and another is adding stickers to the missing buttons on my laptop.  Yep, another day in paradise for sure!

 

 

Titus is getting old enough that he is more involved with the older ones.  He crawls all over the house to keep up, and Zoe and Max even include him in their imaginative games!  I love to sit back and watch while they all laugh at each other for doing something silly.

 

Zoe wants to hold and snuggle Titus all the time.  For the most part he will let her.  All three will sit on the couch snuggled up together watching Daniel Tiger, Dinosaur Train, or Sesame Street.  I will sit there and just smile at my happy, healthy, beautiful babies getting along so well.

 

Sometimes it rains in paradise, though..

 

Max will think the moment is too sweet and out of nowhere poke Titus in the eye or slap Zoe on the head.  After disciplining Max and trying to get the moment back, Titus decides he's done and climbs off the couch.  Zoe thinks it is her turn to discipline Max so I then have to remind her that I am the mom and she needs to knock it off.

 

Yep, good feeling is gone.

 

When all three are crying and not getting along...I tend to leave the room...take a swig of my lukewarm coffee that I'm still trying to finish...take a deep breath...put a smile on my face...roll up my sleeves...and get back in there.

 

I'm sure I have said it many times before -- motherhood is not for the weak.  It is a hard job that never ends.  You may get a break here and there, but the dishes, laundry, house chores, and crying babies are always waiting for you when your short break is over.

 

Just this morning I read an article Parents Magazine posted on Facebook titled Moms, Stress, and Depression.  I'm pretty sure they were peeking through my windows, as well as a few other moms I know, when they wrote this!  Though I don't think I battle with depression...I can see how easy it would be to fall into it's trap!

 

Though the article was written for more serious cases of depression and they tell you to seek treatment professionally, I believe that you can help yourselves first with some steps.

 

I am not a professional in any way.  This is just some steps I try to take myself, and I believe they help!

 

1. Mommy Time.  It was hard to get up early at first, but I made myself get up with Paul in the mornings, and now I have a routine.  The kids tend to wake up around 8:00, so I get up around 6:00-6:30 and drink most of my coffee and read my morning devotions in peace.  I feel like that little bit of quiet time to myself really helps since I most likely won't have any the rest of the day.  If I have a chance to go to the store by myself, great!  If not, that's ok because I've already had some time alone.
2. Walk Away.  There are some times when all three are crying and I am about to cry myself.  I will walk away, just for a minute.  I will go to my bedroom or bathroom, close the door, and just sit there and take deep breaths.  It may take awhile, but I will take deep breaths and even whisper prayers of help until I feel my body calm down.  When I feel focused, I go back out and take care of the chaos with a clear head.
3. Jumping Jacks.  Ever have those days where you feel lonely and sad but you're not really sure why?  I know I do.  Whenever I feel blue I try to make myself do something active.  Whether I pop in a DVD or take the kids and dog out for a walk, I just go!  I don't make excuses because I want to feel better!  By the time I'm done with my DVD or walk with the kids, I feel so much better about myself.  By the way, I have even taken multiple walks in a day to feel better!  Do what you gotta do, ladies. :-)

At the end of the day, when all the little angels are tucked into their beds, I hope you think about all the blessings God bestowed upon you!  Don't reflect on the stress.  Don't worry about what didn't get done.  Reflect on the good.  Before we all know it, our babies will grow up and leave and we will miss the chaos they brought to our lives.

 

Now if you will excuse me...I have to clean off my iPhone from all the pictures my daughter has taken.  My son has a snotty nose, again, and my other son doesn't smell so pleasant.  Just another day! :-)

Growing Up

 

No matter how old you are, one is never too old to learn a lesson!  This past week God is giving me a lesson.  In the beginning of the week I was freaking out and allowing my emotions to overtake me to the point that I was experiencing anxiety.  As the days went on and I realized I wasn't handling the situation the way God wanted me to, I went to Him in prayer.

 

I love how, when you realize how silly you are and you remember to take a minute and ask God to help you...immediately you feel His warmth and peace like snuggling up with a load of laundry as soon as they're out of the dryer.  Did that make you sigh when you thought of it?  I know I did!

 

I still have little things in my life that are stressful, but I have a loving God who is holding my hand and guiding me through it all.  I'm so thankful I could cry.  We serve such a wonderful and loving God!

 

 

So this weekend it is my turn to leave my husband and kids and go out of town.  I am really excited because this is only my second ladies retreat I have ever been to, but at the same time I'm so nervous because I have never left my babies before.  I know Paul and his dad will do a great job, I don't doubt that, but I know how emotional they get when Dad leaves...how are they going to feel when Mommy leaves??

 

Yesterday the kids and I went to the library and picked out a few books for them to read this weekend.  I also picked up an audio books for us ladies!  Today I put together a Daddy Survival Kit for Paul and his dad.  Call me paranoid. =D  It just made me feel better writing things down, ok?!

 

I know that when this weekend is over I will feel rejuvinated spiritually, mentally, and physically.  By the time I get home I will be so happy to see my husband and babies, and I know I will have a clear head because of my mini break!  Even though I'm slightly dreading it. =D  By the time the weekend is over I will decide if this needs to be a yearly thing...or if one time is good enough for me. :)

 

Off to take my babies to the park!

Counting Blessings

Paul is going on another business trip this weekend.  As much as I would love to go with him again, the kids and I have to stay home because this trip is out of state.  I hate when he has to leave, but I am trying to have a better outlook this time around!  The kids and I will have fun -- I'll make sure of it!  I plan on taking them to the dollar store where we can buy some crafts, lunch dates, we'll head to the library so we all can get some books to read throughout the week, I plan on having movie nights with the kids.. I'm going to make this fun!

 

The first trip Paul took where he left us all behind was miserable.  Zoe had a horrible time accepting the fact that Daddy was gone.  I knew I wasn't much help because I was pregnant and emotional and I just laid around the house and cried.  We're not going to repeat that week.  No way!

 

Up until he leaves we have been doing special things together as a family.  The other day we went out to eat a late lunch together.

 

 

It was nice to walk around and enjoy being with my perfect little family.  I love being out with Paul and the kids!  We end up having so much fun together!  Plus it's kind of funny to see the looks people give us when they see the three kids and realize how close together in age they are. =)

 

After our outing we soon realized maybe it was too early to go out since we all have been battling this cold/flu thing.  We ended up spending our Sunday home sick and miserable.

 

Well.. some of us were sick and miserable.. this guy wasn't obviously. =)

 

Paul and I were bummed that we weren't able to go to church, but it really was nice to spend the day in our PJ's watching tv and spending time together.

 

Zoe and Max have loved spending more time with their Dad.  He has been coming home around 3:30 the past week and they have bonded so well!  It kind of makes me sad because I know he will be going back to working 12 hour shifts 6 days a week as soon as he gets home from his trip.  The kids and I are going to miss him being around so much.

 

BUT!!

 

I can't think like that.  Even though it has been hard on Paul (and the rest of us!) to work so much, we both know things could be much worse.  He could be out of a job for one.  Also, we know that this isn't going to last forever -- though it seems like it has. =)  One day things will be different and he will move up with the company and have more time to spend with his favorites.

 

God has blessed our lives in so many ways.  I may say that a lot, but it's true!  Sometimes we go through things we don't like, or life gives us little surprises, and in the end we receive such beautiful blessings!  So much to be thankful for.

 

Count your blessings!  Think positive!



Life lessons

Source: rosalindafrank2.blogspot.com via JESSIE on Pinterest

I'm sure I've said it a hundred times, but I'm going to say it again..

I have so much respect for the moms who have to be away from dads longer than a week!

I have learned a lot this past week.  I'm thankful for that.

If I didn't know it before I definitely know now that God loves His children so much and will answer even the smallest of prayers!  The minute I feel weak I ask God to give me strength and I immediately feel Him touch me.  I am so thankful for His peace, strength, and courage.

Yesterday was our busy day outside of the house.  It was kind of nice to be out and about and not cooped up inside, but it was still lonely knowing I was doing it completely by myself.

ALTHOUGH...

I appreciate my children so much more than I did before.  Anyone who knows me knows I adore my children!  But while we were sitting at McDonald's yesterday I had both kids on my lap and we were laughing about something, and I just gave them the biggest hug...

I have always tried to be a patient mom.  I try to always come to their level and try and listen and understand them the best I can, and I always try to not raise my voice.  Well, I feel like I've stepped it up a notch this week.

There have been a lot more hugs.

A lot more I love you's.

A lot more tickling.

A  lot more coming to their level and explaining why bossing Bubba is a no-no.



A picture for Daddy



I have reminded myself that absence makes the heart grow fonder.  I hate that saying, but it is so true.  It seemed like our lives got too busy for each other.  Paul has been working non-stop since becoming an assistant manager.  Between my household chores, working from home, and keeping busy with the kids, I am pretty much worn out by the end of the day.

Our lives have been go-go-go so much that we forgot about family time.  To be honest, it got to the point where I felt like I was a single parent and I happened to have a room mate live with me.

I hope this week will be an eye opener for Paul and I.

We need more dates.

We need more family time with our kids who are growing up too fast.

We need more hugs.

We need more kisses.

We need to stop and smell the roses.

So in a way, I am thankful for this week.  I'm thankful for the lessons I have had to learn.  Lessons are never easy, are they?

What I have learned so far

It's ok to show emotion.

Once I shed a few tears I can wipe my eyes and nose and I feel better about getting it off of my chest.

Always have a prayer on your lips.

Whether it's a praise or request, I have made sure to be in a constant conversation with the Lord.  It has helped me so much and I want to show Him how grateful I am.  Also, because I haven't had a lot of adult conversation, it helps knowing He's always there to talk to.

No matter what other people think of you, your children adore you.

This past week I have definitely struggled with insecurities.  I have come to the conclusion that it doesn't matter if I'm the favorite to anyone.  My husband loves me with all of his heart, and our children adore me!  Like I said before, Zoe and Max are so much more affectionate.  There have been more snuggles, more kisses, more loving words.  I may not be anyone else's favorite, but I am my husband's and my children's favorite and that's good enough for me.

I'm sure I have learned more lessons than these three, but my coffee hasn't kicked in yet. =)

There is only one more day standing in between Paul and I!  I cannot wait till Zoe and Max see their Daddy.  They are going to go crazy.

Have a wonderful Thursday!

Life with 2

So far life with two has been busy -- yet fun!

I absolutely love watching Zoe try and peek into the bassinet.  When she realizes that even being on her tippy toes is not enough she'll turn to me and reach out her pudgy little arms begging me to pick her up so she can peer over the top to see her little man.

Max is showered with kisses and caresses from Zoe every 5 minutes.  I'm thankful he doesn't mind, because I'm sure the affection will not stop anytime soon.  Hopefully never!

We have been on a couple family car rides since bringing Max home from the hospital.  Both times we have had to blare Jack Johnson to soothe crying kids.  I think Jack has the same affect on Max that he does on Zoe.  Thank goodness!

Diaper changes happen at the same time.  As soon as I'm done with one I find the other for their turn.  I find it very comical -- now. =)  Also, right now they're both taking naps!  I wonder if they'll be on the same schedule for everything?

Life is busy and fun.  Mom and the kids are still here so I'm getting plenty of help.  I don't look forward to them leaving on Saturday for many reasons.  Mostly I will miss the chaotic routine of everything.

Listening to Zoe call after Nana (like the dog on Peter Pan) and hearing them follow each other all over the house like two best friends -- because that is exactly what they have become on this trip.

Threatening to get the spray bottle out because kids wouldn't get up and get ready for school.

Paul being home all day.

The list could go on, but I'm too tired and emotional to write anymore. =)

Have a wonderful Wednesday!

Light at the end of the tunnel

I had my last doctor's appointment today.

When Dr. L came into the room this morning she said the words I was hoping to hear.  "Let's induce you tomorrow."  She would have done it today, but wouldn't you know all the rooms in the maternity ward are full.  She made some phone calls, will be ::hopefully:: pushing a couple people out today so that tomorrow at 6:00 a.m. I can come in and she break my water.

The receptionist wished me luck, welcomed me back anytime - HA! - and I left feeling relieved knowing I am almost done.  Knowing that tomorrow is the day is such a crazy feeling..  I don't look forward to the pain, but I look forward to meeting this little boy I've been carrying in my womb for 9 months.  I'm curious to see how Zoe will be with another little one around.  I'm also curious to see what it's going to be like having two instead of one.

So many emotions!

Here we go.. =) 

Thrilled. To. Death.

Woo. Stinking. Woo.

As you can see from the picture above, I am thrilled. to. death. that I made it to 40 weeks.  I'm just jumping for joy.  Can you see it?  Can you see the thrill written all over my face?

Today is my due date.  From here on out I'll be overdue - and the thought makes me want to punch someone in the face.  Though it's a tough decision, I think I'll start with my doctor and work from there. =)

My next appointment isn't until Wednesday this week.  I've been going weekly on Tuesday long enough that changing to Wednesday for this week seems way too long to wait!  But don't worry, I don't see Max doing anything crazy before then.  So we'll wait for Wednesday to FINALLY get here in order to beg Dr. L to schedule an induction just to wait another few days.. maybe a week.. before that works out.

Jesus help me..

I need divine strength right now.  After my previous post talking about allowing God to be in contro, I felt more at peace about everything.  Sure I still felt disappoint every once in awhile, but I didn't allow myself to feel depression because I knew everything was in God's hands.

But let me just tell you a little something..

I am uncomfortable.  I find no relief in standing, sitting, or lying down.  Paul had to literally roll me over today because I could not do it by myself because I was so sore.  It makes me feel like a turtle on my back.  I am not a turtle, I'm a human being.  Humans shouldn't feel like upside down turtles.

I do not like to waddle.  I feel like a penguin.  I am not a penguin, I am a human being.  Humans should not waddle.

I have resulted to wearing sweat pants and my husband's t-shirts.  They may seem comfy, but I do not feel cute.  All of my maternity clothes are "shrinking" because I have never been this far along before.  I feel like a whale.  Again, I am not a whale - I am a human being.  Humans should not feel like a 100 ton mammal.  I want to wear MY jeans.

Here are just 3 examples of how I feel about arriving to my due date - and still no baby.

Hormones

After my Castor oil incident I had previously written about, I took my second trip to the bathroom to finish throwing up what I had managed to chug down, as well as everything else I ate and drank to try and cover up that awful flavor in my mouth.

If violent puking does not cause contractions, I don't know what will.

I took a shower (to get the "contents" out of my hair) and then went back to bed.  After a quick 30 minute nap I think I'm feeling better..

Let's get one thing clear, though.  I am 38 weeks 5 days pregnant.  I am not oblivious to the fact that I have not reached 40 weeks yet.  If one more person tells me I'm still early or to be patient I'm going to freak out.  I'm serious.

I am a funny person.  The reason I keep you all posted on what I've done to try and induce labor as well as what has happened because of it is because I think it's funny and I want to share.  Don't you think I need a little humor in my life right now? ;)

As you can see Max is not here yet.  Though that is a little stressful to me, I know there is a reason why.  I pray everyday for a healthy son and I know that he still needs some "baking time" as some would like to say.  I would never wish harm on any of my children.  I accept that God is trying to teach me how to breathe and to stop and smell the roses.

Thanks for understanding.  Even if you don't, and you still think I need "advice".. I suggest you keep it to yourself.  Like I told my younger sister, "I'm this close to knocking those freckles off your face."  Just smile and nod.. or better yet, laugh with me! =)

Pay no attention to the hormonal pregnant woman behind the curtain..

Who am I kidding?!

Ok, so you know how in my previous post how I said we need to relax and enjoy family during this holiday season.. well, I haven't really done that yet.  ::ahem::  I feel like I'm running around in circles which means nothing is getting done!

No baking, my house is still a wreck, I have not wrapped one present, I didn't get to watch any of the classic Christmas movies, the list goes on..

So what have I been doing?  That is the million dollar question!!!!  I'm losing my mind.  That's it in a nutshell.

It's time to whip up a list..

• Tidy the house -- I would love to say clean the house but we don't have time for that right now.  I just need to tidy up the worst of it and then we'll worry about really cleaning on Monday, December 27.
• Wrap all of the presents -- I would love to put everything in gift bags because I really am not a fan of wrapping presents.  I honestly don't have the patience for it.  But I make myself wrap presents for Christmas.  It shows that I love you enough to wrap a present for you!
• I did watch Holiday Inn for the first time today.  It was pretty good, but I'm used to watching White Christmas and It's a Wonderful Life pretty much everyday leading up to Christmas.  Not to mention the kid's classics; Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer, Frosty the Snowman, The Year Without a Santa Claus, Santa Claus is Coming to Town, etc.  Can you believe I do not own one Christmas movie?  I should be drug out into the street and shot.
• Baking.. ah baking..  I'll do it in my spare time.

You may be asking yourself, "Self, why is Grace posting her list for all the world to see?"  My answer is this -- why not?!  Now I have a million people (not really, close to 2,000) watching to see if I really did work on my list!  Perfect idea!

As for tonight, Paul and I are trying a new recipe to bring to church this evening.  Have you ever tried the loaded queso from On The Border?  It's pretty much amazing!  We're going to try and make it ourselves -- with our own little twists.  Wish us luck!

If you don't hear from me before Christmas, I hope you all have a wonderful weekend with your family and friends!  Remember the reason for the season!  I plan on reading the story of Jesus' birth to Zoe on Christmas Eve before bed.  Traditions have to start somewhere, right?

Ok. The drama is over.

I'm so sorry for that last post.  I don't know what came over me!  Well.. yes I do, it's just not something you share with millions of people.  Once a month I simply feel like I'm going crazy.  During those few days it seems like everything possible will go wrong.  Some months are worse than others.  These past few days were pretty extreme, even for me.  But we're good.  Life is good!

I got to sleep in with my little family.  Finals are over so Paul and I were able to sleep in till nearly 11:00.  ::yikes::  I'm so thankful we have a baby who likes to sleep!  We finally rolled out of bed, took showers, and I did a very bad thing.  I made pizza rolls for lunch.  So very bad for you but Oh. So. Good.  We ate those while watching a movie and then I got a pleasant surprise -- a shoulder massage.  Wow!  Sure, things did get a little stressful for me when I couldn't find certain paperwork, but it all worked out and everything is ok.

To top it off, I got a Christmas present from my ::secret sister::!  I couldn't help it.  I opened it early.  It was exactly what I wanted!  You know those plastic coffee cups that look like the disposable ones from Starbucks?  Well she got me one of those -- the ones for iced coffee -- and Starbucks instant coffee as well as caramel macchiato creamer!  Oh, and chocolate covered coffee beans.  Thank you!

I think all of our Christmas presents are bought; I just need to wrap them and put them under the tree.  I only have a few more Christmas cards to address and then send them on.  Everything is working out -- for the most part. :)

So as you can see, the drama is over.  At the end of the day all that matters in life is your relationship with God and with your family, right?  Oh, and if you have a coffee in hand then that's just the icing on the cake!

Stop the ride! I want off!

It seems like I'm having one of those weeks where everything most seem to go wrong.  Not just one thing, but many things.  Things that I don't even want to share with you.  But here I am, feeling like I'm going crazy, feeling like I can't breathe, feeling like I need a vacation from my PROBLEMS!!!!

::breathe in::

::breathe out::

I know that all I need is a good night's sleep without funky dreams, a foot and shoulder massage, bubble bath, and finish my book that I picked up two weeks ago.  Oh, and to run away for a day with my husband and daughter.  Then I will be hunky dory!  Back to my happy-go-lucky self!

Until then.. stand back and don't talk to me unless you have a Coke or McDonald's caramel frappe.  Thanks! :|

Gotta love family

When family visits you never see your baby unless she's *fruipy or hungry. Everyone loves a baby- until she cries. :)  Having a lot of family around is a lot of fun, though.  She's always held, her diaper changed, I just feed her every 3 hours and then she's passed on to someone else.  It makes me extra appreciative of dark time though- when I can take my baby to bed with me.  Sigh.. love it!

Also, when family comes to visit, you get a lot of presents! Zoe has received a lot of cute outfits and I love putting her in something new everyday!  I need to enjoy it while I can because I can already tell it won't be long before she's too big.  My little girl is growing right before my eyes!  I think she's double in size from when she was first born.

I tried on my skinny jeans today, and what do you know, they fit!  I'm telling you, my Dr. Scholl's version of Shape Ups are working!  I keep losing more and more weight and getting smaller and smaller.  I feel GREAT!

Aunt Teresa has me addicted hooked enjoying sugar-free sweet tea from Walmart.  I'm sure it's sweetened with Splenda.  I love Splenda!  I wonder if it's cheaper to buy enough Splenda to make my own sugar-free sweet tea or if it's cheaper to buy it already made?  I need to check into that for my new addiction pleasure.

Tomorrow is going to be an overwhelming day for me, though.  I have a WIC appointment at 8:30, daycare orientation from 9:30-2:00, and then I need to clean Earl's house after that.  I'm going to need a double shot and hope it will help me mentally and physically!

Vote for Zoe!♥

Family outing

Paul has had the past two days off from work and we have been trying to do our best to make the most of it.  Today is his last day off and we were supposed to go to Glacier National Park.  That didn't work out.

Ugh.

So now we're planning on going to the next town over and checking out their Wildlife Museum.

Mind you, it's already 2:20 p.m. and we haven't left the house yet.  We'll see if this happens..

Sigh..

Vote for Zoe!♥

Love is a battlefield

I know my hormones are still out of whack.  I blame them for this post.

Since Zoe has been born I feel like I have been a walking time bomb.

I smell the coffee brewing in the morning and I start crying because I love the smell.

I look into my daughter's eyes and start crying because I'm so happy- but they can eventually turn into sad tears as I realize my little girl is growing up in front of my eyes and then one day she'll be married and having her own kid and she won't be my baby anymore.

I think about my family and I start bawling!  I wish so much that they lived closer so they could be around Zoe everyday like Paul's parents.  Sometimes life isn't fair, huh?!  But I'm so thankful for the time they were able to spend with her.

There's a storm coming over the town right now as I type and I feel a little choked up.. why?  Who knows.

Ahh.. hormones..

Ok, it may not be that extreme.. but pretty close. :)