Count Your Blessings

Last week all of America celebrated Independence Day with BBQ's, desserts, and fireworks.  Our family wasn't any different.  We enjoyed wonderful food, some of us went to a play in the park (Romeo and Juliet) while others played in the pool, and then we all went to the fairgrounds to watch the big show.

As you can see...most everyone enjoyed the evening. :-)  Our little town set off an amazing display of fireworks and our little group was front and center.  It was amazing!  All of us -- even Phebe -- had a great time.  Afterward, we headed back to some friends' house to set off our own fireworks before calling it a night.

We all enjoyed the fireworks very much.  They were so pretty!  We even had a couple paper lanterns this year which was fun.  It was getting close to midnight when my little ones asked me if they could go inside and lay down.  I brought them inside, changed diapers, and was just laying kids on couches when Melissa ran in and told me to go outside because Paul was bleeding.

I had no idea what was going on, so I headed outside to see a group of Paul bringing Paul in, and I was so confused as to what happened!  Someone finally told me he got hit in the face by a firework, but I didn't know the extent of it yet.  They brought him inside where there was light, his dad looked at him, and they immediately rushed him to the emergency room.

As soon as I made sure someone could take my kids home for me, I had someone take me to the hospital so I could be with my husband.  The whole time I was praying, asking God to be with him.  I still didn't know what had happened, but he was seriously injured.

I ran into the ER, found out which room Paul was in, pushed back the curtain...and found my poor husband with a big hole under his lip and blood everywhere.  He was moaning because of how much pain he was in.  I went to his side and continued to pray for him while I heard the story:

Earlier in the evening we had shot a off a mortar cake.  About an hour or so later, Paul was using a flare to light smaller fireworks, and he put the flare in one of the mortar shells and it tipped over.  When he bent down to pick up the tipped over shell and his flare, he was met with a dud mortar that was re-lit by his flare.  The dud hit him right in the face.  Thankfully it bounced off his face and then exploded -- but as you can see he was still damaged.

After the doctor cleaned him up, asked over and over how his teeth felt, if he could see, etc., he told Paul that if it was six inches higher he would have lost an eye.  Knowing Paul, that would have been the ultimate nightmare.00000

Things that go bump in the night

We had a pretty wild storm last night!  I don't know if I have ever experienced anything like that before.  I got caught driving alone with my three babies dodging branches, people, and large dumpsters praying that God would keep me safe because I had no idea what was going on!

 

When we were safely home and all babies were tucked into their beds, I just laid there with eyes wide hoping the wind would calm down.  I.hate.wind.  I just knew that as soon as I relaxed a branch would be flying through one of my kids' windows!

 

As soon as my body started to relax and I dozed off, I soon awakened because I heard intruders in my house!  They even came into my room!  I turned on the light and I saw this guy trying to climb into my bed:

 

 

I am not used to my children being capable of getting out of bed on their own yet.  It scared the living daylights out of me!

 

I tucked him back in bed and told him to go to sleep, and then went to back to bed myself.  I was just starting to dream about weird things when I heard coughing.  I woke up and knew that he was out of bed again so I went searching..

 

The goofy kid was laying on the floor in the living room with his blanket wrapped around his head.  No idea why!

 

It's time to use the baby gate so he doesn't get used to wandering in the middle of the night!

Light at the end of the tunnel

I had my last doctor's appointment today.

When Dr. L came into the room this morning she said the words I was hoping to hear.  "Let's induce you tomorrow."  She would have done it today, but wouldn't you know all the rooms in the maternity ward are full.  She made some phone calls, will be ::hopefully:: pushing a couple people out today so that tomorrow at 6:00 a.m. I can come in and she break my water.

The receptionist wished me luck, welcomed me back anytime - HA! - and I left feeling relieved knowing I am almost done.  Knowing that tomorrow is the day is such a crazy feeling..  I don't look forward to the pain, but I look forward to meeting this little boy I've been carrying in my womb for 9 months.  I'm curious to see how Zoe will be with another little one around.  I'm also curious to see what it's going to be like having two instead of one.

So many emotions!

Here we go.. =) 

Please, don't scare my kid.

I read that during the 9 month stage of a baby's life they sometimes can decide to go through a shy stage.  Zoe is going through a shy stage.  I hope one day she will grow out of it, because I don't mind it right now but when she gets older I don't want her clinging to my leg when she's older.  I would like my children to be friendly and smile -- without touching strangers, thanks.

This afternoon I had to go to Walmart and the cashier was trying everything she could possibly think of to make Zoe smile.  Zoe was on my hip and she was clinging to my shirt and completely freaked out.  For some reason that fueled the lady's fire and she continued acting like a spazz in order to get Zoe to smile.  During her freaking out she jumped at Zoe and said "BOO!"

Zoe jumped out of her skin and started bawling.  ::ugh::  Thanks a million, lady.  I felt so bad for Zoe, because I could tell she was scared to death, and I wanted to give the cashier a nasty look -- but I know she didn't mean it.

::sigh::

I love my daughter. :)

Workin' Momma

It looks like I am starting a new chapter in my life.  Something I know I will do well at, but at the same time I feel so intimidated by it..  I got a job.  Kind of.

I applied for a freelance writing position through Suite 101 last night.  This morning I checked my email, and wouldn't you know it, they already contacted me saying I had been accepted.  So in between Story Time and baking cookies for our local church's cookie exchange I have been reading all of their tutorials to make sure I'm ready to start writing articles.

Any little help money-wise will be much appreciated around here -- though this job will not make us millionaires by any means!  It won't earn much in the beginning, but after awhile it may pay off.  Either way, I think it will be fun to write articles!

I love to write about all kinds of things (obviously) so we'll see how well I do.  Wish my luck!

I'm also curious to see how well I do while taking care of a baby.  At first I'll do most of my articles at my MIL's house since she has internet, but eventually I will be on my own..

I CAN DO IT!  I AM WOMAN!  HEAR ME ROAR!

Zoe is getting so much better at hanging out on the floor with her toys so I'm sure she'll do just fine.  I'll take breaks to feed her or put her down for a nap and then back to writing.  I can do this!  It should be fun.

Oh, I'm baking cow pies for the cookie exchange tonight!  Doesn't that sound appetizing?  When they're done I'll have to take a picture.  I think they're going to turn out pretty yummy.  I may have just found a new secret recipe..

Remember me..

October 15 is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day.  For those who have had miscarriages or lost an infant, they know this day well- including myself.

How ironic that just this past week Paul and I took a mini vacation in the area where we lost our first child!

A couple weeks ago Paul said it was time for us to run away for a couple days.  It was spur of the moment, and we needed it!  So we packed an overnight bag and headed for the mountains.  The closer we got to those beloved mountains the heavier my heart felt, and I didn't know why.  Then we passed a town in East Glacier and it hit me.

That was the Mexican restaurant Paul and I sat at after finding out..

I told Paul how overwhelmed I felt, and come to find out, he felt the same way.  So we talked about it.  Get it off of our chest.

I allowed myself to rethink the whole nightmare.

We decided to visit some church friends in the flathead valley for Memorial weekend.  I was 13 weeks pregnant.  Out of "the danger zone."  Because of that, Paul and I felt like we could be excited about our surprise baby.  So during our 4 hour trip we daydreamed about our new little family, talked about names,  wondered what he/she would look like..

Paul took hold of my hand and said, "Even though this wasn't planned, I'm excited. I love you."

24 hours later I went to the bathroom and noticed light pink blood.  I immediately felt sick.  I ran to find Paul and told him I was bleeding.  I saw the color drain from his face.  He grabbed my arms to calm me down and told me to call my mom.

I told my mom what was going on, and unfortunately couldn't give me words of hope.  She told me to lay down and they would pray for the baby's and my safety.  I laid down and Paul and all of our friends prayed for the baby.  Deep down I knew it wasn't going to help, it was too late, but I still believed in a miracle.

We went to bed, and the next morning I woke up to more pink blood.  Paul and I talked long and hard, and we finally decided to go to the ER to find out if our little one was ok.

The X-Ray technician lived in a completely different town so it took him 30-45 minutes to get to the hospital.  When we saw the ultrasound, I saw the beginnings of a little head and nose..  he/she was so tiny..

The technician didn't say a word through the whole thing.  When he was done, he got up, said good luck, and left.  Paul and I couldn't talk.. and if we did, we tried to reassure each other that God has everything under control.

The doctor finally came in after what seemed like hours, sat down, and simply said, "Your body is aborting the baby.  There's nothing we can do."

And that was that.  No sympathy.  No box of tissues.  Just the reassuring fact that I was aborting my own baby.

The doctor soon left and I had my first breakdown I've ever had in my life.

We left that night and headed home.  I couldn't be there anymore.  I needed to run away.

A year and a half later I ran back, and you know what?  I felt the last bit of closure I needed.  Daddy did too, as you can see..

Today I remember our first child.  Our child we named Charity because of the love that brought "her" into the world.

It took me a year, but I realized that though I felt very much deserted, God had everything under control- and look at us now!  Paul and I have a stronger marriage, he is even more my best friend then he was when I was 16.  And we now have a healthy, happy, beautiful baby girl, whom we love to death!

So today I remember what happened.  Though it was a terrible storm.. the rainbow is absolutely amazing.

To all of the women who have experience a miscarriage and/or infant loss, I'm thinking of you..

Can I put my Christmas tree up yet?

I know I just put my Fall decor up today but I can't help myself! I've got the itch and I want to scratch it!  I'm so excited for the holidays this year because I have a baby.  Sure I'll be swatting hands at the Thanksgiving table as they try to sneak Zoe some mashed potatoes and gravy, or pumpkin pie!  But it's going to be so much fun nonetheless!  Who knows.. I just might allow it.. don't get your hopes up yet.

But Christmas!  Who doesn't love Christmas?  The lovely festive smells.. a big Christmas tree with pretty ornaments that don't necessarily match each other, but they're "hundreds" of years old so it doesn't matter.  It adds character to the tree.  Presents under the tree.. It's A Wonderful Life being played over and over (in my house it is!).. homemade sugar cookies.. Bing Crosby played in the kitchen while the ham is being cooked.. and then a 5 month old getting into things before it's time.  I'm going to love it!

Don't worry, I didn't put a tree up and I'm not listening to Christmas music yet.  I make myself wait till the day after Thanksgiving.  Besides, even if I wanted to Paul wouldn't let me.  But I look forward to the day I can. :)

Until then I will enjoy my Fall leaves and creepy scarecrow that I bought at Walmart for $8 that occasionally turns around and stares into my living room while I fold my laundry.  No joke.

Cue scary scarecrow!

Taken from my window. True story.

Doesn't he give you the heebie jeebies?

Happy Fall!