I've fallen and I can't get up!

I attempted the full body sculpt workout again. At the 10 minute marker I fell over again and wanted to give up, but a little pat on the rear from my husband and his excited "You can do it!" motivated me to push harder. I made it the full 20 minutes! As you can see from the picture above I collapsed again and am in shock. 

Since Saturday I have counted my calories and made sure to drink at least 100 oz. of water everyday. I weighed myself this morning and saw that I have already lost 4 lbs! It was just the motivation I needed to grab my water bottle and start all over again! 

Last night I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror and allowed myself to really look... I took time to observe every inch of my overweight body so that the image would be stuck in my head. I felt shame, disgust, embarrassment. The few lbs I have gained over the past 7 years added up to an image I did not like seeing. Inhopenyi never see it on me ever again. 

Exercising this morning was hard. Really hard. I fumbled through it and wanted to give up. But that image of who I am was in the back of my mind. She was telling me to keep pushing harder. My body ached and my arms and legs shook with the threat of giving out on me. But I did it. And I'm going to do it again tomorrow. 

Goodbye to those 4 lbs I lost! I hope I never see you again! 

The first day of the rest of my life

"Mom, why are you so wet?"

I attempted to do a new workout I found online and lasted 10 minutes before I collapsed. I was drenched in sweat and trying to get as much air as I possibly could into my lungs. That's when Zoe gave me a hug. And wondered why I was so "wet." 

I am so out of shape. 

This is what I get for not exercising for the past five years while having babies. Why in the world did I think it was a good idea to take a break?! If there are any pregnant women out there reading this, please do not, I repeat, DO NOT take a break from exercising. You will regret it just like me. 

I am officially done having children so I don't have any more excuses. I am doing my best to drink 100 oz. of water a day and I'm hoping and praying to lose 50 lbs. yes...I really need to lose 50 lbs. 

Some may be reading this thinking why is she posting something so personal? I will admit that it is hard for me to do this. I have written posts like this before and deleted them because I chickened out. I don't want anyone to see me so vulnerable. But here I am. The time has come. This is my journey. 

One day I am going to look back on these posts and I hope to read them and feel pride in how far I have come. I also hope these posts are encouraging to you too -- whether you are trying to lose weight as well or for another reason. 

Today I may have only lasted 10 minutes before I nearly died of a heart attack, but I will do it again tomorrow. Maybe I will last 11 minutes before I fall over. Slow progress is still progress. I have to remind myself of that almost daily. 

So this is the first day of the rest of my life. No matter putting it off till next Monday, or after so-and-so's birthday, or right after I eat this last whatever. If I don't start now I may never start. 

So...here we go!